#January2012
Stem Cells Prevent Blindness Suggests Human Trial. Hell Yeah!
Oh glory be!, the future is coming. There may be help for people suffering from macular-degeneration like my fucking Nana. Stem cells! Delicious stem cells may be able to help you Nana, hold the fuck on!
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Video: Neil deGrasse Tyson Lays Down America’s Science Decline
Neil is the man, and I’d happily listen to him talk about anything. Here’s him breaking down the decline in American science in the past thirty years.
How Much Energy Would Death Star Need To Destroy Earth? Important Study.
I know what you’re thinking. Should the Multiverse ever crack open and a Death Star slither out through the chasm between time and space, there’s a good chance that Earth is fucked. But let’s get down to the nitty gritty. Just how much energy would Palpatine’s Death Machine need to obliterate our Blue Marble?
Research Council: Water Shortage? Time To Start Drinking Urine.
Fresh water. It isn’t the easiest thing to come by, especially with the world’s population bulging like a genuine American’s waistband. What are we going to do, eh? According to one Brain Trust who clearly were awed by the prescience of Waterworld, we gotta get our pee drinking on. Way ahead of you! (…Wait, what?)
File-sharing Religion Officially Recognized In Sweden. Wut? Rock.
Welcome to the Future, where there is a file-sharing religion officially recognized by a government. The Church of Kopimism is a religion predicated on sharin’ them torrents and the such. Outstanding.
New “Cloaking Device” Creates Hole In Time And Space. Futurism ++!
Scientists have successfully hidden an object in time and space. Nietzsche is like “Wait, maybe it’s time God is dead!” and I’m like “Aww, yeah!”
Kinect Weighs Astronauts In Space Just By Looking At Them. HAL Lives.
Astronauts can lose a lot of mass due to muscles atrophying and shit in space. What a conundrum! How do take measurements of their bodies to ensure they stay fit? Why, activate HAL!…or the Kinect. It will scan them. Track them. Play chess with them.
Underwater Neutrino Detector WIll Be Second Largest Structure Built. Ever. Science ++
Let’s get a slow-clap (today is a day of clapping slowly for a variety of things, the honeyed voices of caffeine are suggesting in my brain) for science! A collection of scientific institutes and wunder-hives are coming together to built the second largest structure ever. A neutrino detector. Underwater. Wi-wi-win!
Study Finds Eating Less Keeps Your Brain Young and Supple. Western World = F**ked.
Eating less will keep your brain young and supple! You’ll also live longer, and breath easier. No wonder the preponderance of simpleton Bovine America continues to spread.
Video: IBM Says Mind Reading In Five Years. God No!
IBM is predicting a nascent form of mind reading allowing you to control your techo-gadgets in five years. While they’re optimistic, any sort of mind reading of my inner monologue is indubitably an entrance into madness.
