This is the cold hard truth. Or should I say the squishy warm truth. At least once in our lives, we have filled our pants with brown yuck-yuck. Whether we are younglings, freshly emerged from our mother’s labia, or we are old as shit incontinent motherfuckers. At some point we have crapped our pants. Desperate waste has slithered down our legs, compiling itself into pile of reminder. A reminder of our body’s pathetic inefficiency.

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Gotta crap em all? Get it? This story is insane. It involves competitive video games, feces launching, and a hotel.

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I really don’t have to do much talking. Just file under: Things too odd to be true. Like, seriously. Bayonetta has to be the most sexualized game in recent memory. Jesus, God damn.

Via Destructoid:

Japanese porn distributor V and I may have different ideas on what is and isn’t sexy, but when it comes to Bayonetta, it appears we’re both pulling in the right direction. V is known for such adult entertainment as Would You Like To Get An Enema Until You Poop? and I Saw A Bowel Movement! but it’s put the feces aside for one day to honor Bayonetta (star of Bayonetta), dubbing her the “number one erotic actress of 2009.”

“This right here is high-grade peeping,” claims V. We’ve been assured that peeping isn’t a typo, which can only be deemed a blessed relief. The porn maker has also deemed Bayonetta’s hair movements “erotic.”

It’s good to know that even in my most depraved moments, there are people out there that make me look like a choir boy. And oh yeah, if you don’t know what scat is, do yourself a favor and don’t google it at work. Or ever, for that matter.