#April2021
Monday Morning Commute: Finish Him! (Quarantine)
What a fucking year it’s been, friends. And I know for many, it sure as shit ain’t over yet. But this week marks two weeks since I’ve received my J&J vaccine. Or in other words, this dude is ready to tentatively, and carefully begin to renter society. I mean, to the extent that I ever existed in it, you know? As a hermit and all. How am I celebrating this emergence? Why, I’m celebrating by partaking in two of my favorite things in the world. Hitting the movies on Friday evening and going out to dinner on Saturday afternoon.
What a fucking year it’s been, friends. Yet we’re slowly emerging from the morass, and with it brings a surreal feeling. However, I must underscore how fucking instrumental my digital kinship with ya’ll has been in sustaining some sort of sanity for the past thirteen months. Without these weekly columns, twice-weekly Twitch streams, and now Discord, I would have broken long ago.
If I kick the bucket anytime soon, I’ll lay content in knowing I helped facilitate the creation of some sort of small but meaningful refuge for a few people during this darkest of years. That said, it wouldn’t have been shit without the participation of all of you. So thank you so much for helping a brother out, and if I made you laugh a couple times talking about sniffing panties, boobs, or swearing at Dead Cells, I’m glad.
Anyways, this is Monday Morning Commute! I’ll share my own hopes, dreams, hypes, and vices for the week! Then you’ll hit the comments section and tag-in, it’s your goddamn imperative.
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Weekend Open Bar: Nobody’s Home. Let’s Party!
Can I open the bar in five minutes? Can I go from absolutely no image, to an image, a post title, body text, and hit publish? Let’s see! It’s 6:34. How are you fuckers doing? Are you ready to celebrate the weekend? With me? I fucking hope you are! So come one, and come all, to the Weekend Open Bar!
Views From The Space-Ship: You Trust That Dude?
Hey ya’ll! It’s a new edition of Views From The Space-Ship. Albeit, a day late and a dollar short! Admittedly I don’t have fucking much to share this week. I suppose I can always take a picture of my actual desk, in media res! You know, show what it’s looking like. So let me go do that…*takes photo, seriously*…and I’m back! But maybe I should also try and take some shots of my life? I don’t know! Sharing is caring or something?! Yeah, I’m just fucking babbling.
Weekend Open Bar: The Super Covid Serum!
It’s official, comrades. Members of the Space-Ship Omega. The COVID-19 vaccine is currently coursing through my veins. Building antibodies. Shuffling me towards a day when I may return to the movies, watch sports with friends, and attend concerts. Build, antibodies! Build! Swell up, teach my body how to karate-chop this fucking virus. Missile dropkick the son of a bitch! Get big, get strong, get ready for me. ‘Cause Imma put your serum-ass to the test in three weeks or so.
Views From The Space-Ship: A (Synth)wave of relief
Sup, my brethren? ‘Tis I, the Caffeinated Power! Coming to you today with a bit of a clipped installment. You see, I am experiencing a synthwave of relief today! Finally, I’ve been vaccinated against the Motherfucking Plague! Goddamn, fuck, yes! However, I gotta cop that I’m feeling some of the side effects. Burning eyes, a bit of a throbbing temple, and a pretty unusual amount of fatigue. All of it? All of it completely fucking worth it. To walk within the world again, just a bit more confident. To walk within the movie theaters again in two weeks, to see Mortal Kombat.
That said, I’m fucking drained! So I’m gonna sprint through my images this week, but I still hope you’ll share views of your own world in the comments section!
This is Views From The Space-Ship!
Monday Morning Commute: A Leprechaun Job! KO
Don’t trust anyone who offers you a crock of gold, folks! It’s a motherfucking Leprechaun Job! What does that mean? Man, I don’t fucking know. Okay? Okay! The shitty, pointless headline pun is simply the result of me watching the first Leprechaun this weekend. Fuck, it’s a goddamn goofy-ass blast. I didn’t realize how silly the movie would be, but I enjoyed it all the more for it. Now I must work my way through the series.
‘Cause do you really think I’m gonna miss out on this little fucker going to space?
Or the hood? Twice?
Absolutely not.
Anyways, this here is Monday Morning Commute! The weekly column where we share the arts&farts we’re digging into during a given week.
But you know that cause you’re here! And if you’re here, you’re assuredly a stalwart member of the community. You see, we don’t get many new visitors round these parts. To reference the King’s works himself, OL has become a veritable Derry or Salem’s Lot at this point. I don’t mind though!
Not at all, no I don’t. So long as you regulars hang out in the comments section, that is!
Monday Morning Commute: Coming Alive
What’s up, friends? I must admit I created the column’s title and image above yesterday, when I was feeling decidedly much better. Today? On Tuesday? I don’t know man, I’m fucking tired. Slept like shit. Sam’s been waiting for a call regarding her potential job, so the entire house is feeling them stressed vibes. Teaching? A fucking grind!
But it ain’t all shitty, you know? The Super Covid Serum continues to work in my meat-bag, and I’m looking forward to passing the the two-week mark next week. Then I will be invincible! Capable of downloading 5G directly into my brain, scaling the tallest buildings, and communing with my God-Emperor, Bill Gates!
Anyways, I’m sorry I’m complaining! Let’s hang the fuck out, fellas! Fellas of any gender! Species! This is Monday Morning Commute! Per the column’s ontological imperative, I’m about to give a rundown of what I’m digging this week! Then you’re gonna join me in the comments section.
Views From The Space-Ship: There Will Be Blood (For Vampires)
Somehow we’re doing this column three weeks in a fucking row, friends! Like, this has got to be a goddamn victory. At least in recent memory. That’s right, I’m here to blast your ass with the strong shaft of Views From The Space-Ship for a third week in a row! Don’t worry, don’t bray, don’t neigh, though. I’m a heat-seeking missile for your geek prostate, and all you’ll end up saying is “thank you” as you quiver on out of here.
Oh, where the fuck was I? What am I prattling on about? Madness! Ichor! Mad ichor, and estranged senses of sanity. Anyhoo, let’s get into this week’s edition of Views From The Space-Ship. Join me in the comments section, you fucking punks!
Monday Morning Commute: Godzilla Ain’t Got Shit On Kong
Listen, I can’t speak to the classic installments featuring both characters. I can’t! I simply can’t. However, I know that in the modern iterations, Godzilla ain’t got shit on Kong. Look at that gif! He don’t want that smoke. Guarantee dude runs away, like he spent the entirety of his last movie doing. And then? Dude will probably roll up, blast Kong with a cheap-ass nuclear reactor blast, and everyone will jizz. But pound for pound? Grit for grit? Kong’s a goddamn mauler and we must respect him as such. All of this is probably just an overly long way to introduce this column with the notion that, yes, I’m officially excited for this movie.
But that ain’t all, folks! Fucks! Nope. I’m stoked for a bunch of other shit this week, and I’ll let you know all about them below. That is, after all, the function of the weekly Monday Morning Commute. Then you’ll hit up the comments section with your own musing. It’s the tacit agreement we have, friends.
