The future is fucking wild, man. A Twitter used proposed the idea for a buddy movie starring Rihanna and Lupita Nyong’o, based on an image of the two together. Now, now that pitch is being turned into a fucking movie, and it’s being directed by directed by Ava DuVernay.

Read the rest of this entry »

Yeah. I don’t know. I mean, I got myself a crush on Rihanna. I want to like Star Trek Beyond. The song itself ain’t bad (or great). The visuals of the trailer are pretty fun. But I’m not buying the synthesis of the two disparate parts.

Read the rest of this entry »

Looking back upon my past, over the past (six months), of the past (several years), two questions have arisen. The first one, perhaps obvious, is: who am I? The second one, perhaps obvious, perhaps not obvious, is: who was I? It’s easy to sift through the wreckage, the diamonds, the wrecked diamonds of your past these days. Facebook and Timehop provide constant reminders of what you were doing, this day, year, years, eons, ago. A feedback loop of experience. Remembering the remembrances, especially if you share those memories of memories. A feedback loop of experience.

I don’t know if I’ve gotten older (slowed down) or I’ve gotten older (matured) or if I’ve gotten older-older. But, this much is certain: I do not recognize the Man piercing time-space from the Linear-Past. Or more accurately: I do not recognize when I stopped being the Man piercing time-space from the Linear-Past, and became the older-older, more haunted, more nostalgic CaffPow.

Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t talk about it much, but I’m sort of madly in love with Rihanna. I’m also a fan of Luc Besson. So this joining of talents? Stoked.

Read the rest of this entry »

Rihanna may be joining the cast of Fast 6  as a villain? This would be fantastic if she could play some sort of mute savant when it came to guns play and racing cars…and uh, wearing S&M gear and dancing a lot.

Read the rest of this entry »

A month or so ago, Universal paid a steep multi-million dollar penalty and wiped its ass with their contract with toy manufacturer Hasbro. No sensible human being saw anything great coming from the partnership, which was signed back in 2008 when I was 30 pounds lighter. For years, family-friendly projects like Stretch Armstrong, Ouija, and Monopoly were thrown around with different producers and directors attached – remember Ridley Scott’s Monopoly hurrrr? A few days before Universal washed their hands clean of Hasbro, rival Sony Pictures snatched up Candy Land to use as an Adam Sandler vehicle. Meaning they’re going to make a boatload of money.

The only film actually coming out of the doomed contract is Peter Berg’s Battleship, in which Rihanna and Tim Riggins fight aliens. There’s really no connection to the board game except the battleships and it’s almost certain someone will begrudgingly say “You sunk my battleship” and then immediately feel like a tool. But amidst all the backlash, let us never forget that in 1985 the first and best board game adaptation was released.

Clue is a madcap murder mystery hated by some and loved by many. Critically spat upon in its initial release, it’s since developed a well deserved cult following. Universal was planning on remaking it with Gore Verbinski to direct, but that’s obviously fallen through. Good riddance, I say. The original Clue is super fun and has everything from lo-brow poop jokes to jabs at McCarthyism. It’s worth revisiting if you haven’t in a while. Here’s six reasons why Clue is and will always be the best movie based on a board game.

Read the rest of this entry »

In my younger years, I was all about brutal metal. Seven string guitars, double bass drums, growling like Satan – what’s not to love? Well, I suppose the appeal of mosh pits has always escaped me. Nevertheless, I digress.

Lately I’ve succumbed to the charm of shitty pop music. It’ll never replace my metal heritage, but it’s nice to mindlessly bob my head from time to time. A dude can only listen to Hammer Smashed Face so many times.

The video above features YouTube user EddieKim attempting to meld these two diametrically opposed universes. Apparently, every week he is going to post a new entry into a series he has coined Billboard Death Metal. The premise? He’s going to take a chart-topper and turn it into something that’ll scare the church-goers. Essentially, he’s attempting to do for pop what Anchorhead has done for the music of the Star Wars Trilogy.

This week, Eddie Kim presents Rihanna’s Rude Boy.