#February2019
Nintendo of America president Reggie Fils-Aimé retiring. Legit being replaced by dude named Bowser
NoA president Reggie Fils-Aimé is retiring. Dude has been with Nintendo for nearly thirteen years, and guided them through two wonderful successes, the Wii and Switch. That said, not all is lost. Bro is being replaced by a dude named Bowser.
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Nintendo of America boss says SNES Classic production will be way up, don’t overpay for the console. Yeah, okay
Nintendo stakes its name on two things: producing fucking wonderful first-party games, and producing artificial scarcity at mind-snapping, wallet-breaking levels. So fucking excuse me if I don’t believe Nintendo of America’s ChiefCzar when he tells consumers not to overpay for the SNES Classic.
Nintendo Czar-President: TWITCH STREAMING AIN’T FUN. LOLokaybro
Why isn’t the Wii U getting Twitch’s streaming service? The one that zillions of people broadcast themselves on? The one that zillions of people log onto, just to see others playing games? If you buy the Shit Sandwich that is being sold by Nintendo’s Out of Touch Czar, it’s because it ain’t fun.
Nintendo president calls PS4, XBOX ONE launch line-ups “MEH.”
This is amazing. Reggie Something-Such has spent the last year seeing his Wii U largely forgotten by the world. But that ain’t stopping him from throwing around some disparaging remarks about his competition. When asked what he thought of the Xbox One and PS4 line-ups, duder dropped a “meh.”
NINTENDO BOSS says WII U is start of next console generation. I laugh.
Wii U is the “start of the next console generation” like the Dreamcast was the forerunner of the PS2 and Xbox. Sort of, but not really. That hasn’t stopped that Reggie Meme Generator boss guy of Nintendo from claiming the console features everything from “an overpriced tablet as a controller” to “the ability to not cure cancer.”
Press Start: Nintendo Hamburger Hangover
Nintendo are keen on poking the bear this week. For the purposes of this metaphor I shall be playing the bear and the poking stick is represented by the recent glut of Wii U announcements. They’re poking me into a fevered state where I suddenly find myself compelled to pre-order a brand new console and then feel dirty about it afterwards. I have some genuine soul-searching to do.
