#April2021
PlayStation Store for PS3 and PS Vita No Longer Shutting Down. Bullying Corporations Works!
Sony has reversed course and announced they ain’t closing the PlayStation Store for the PS3 and the PS Vita. This shit comes after a rather impressive firestorm surrounding the news, especially from pissed off retro PlayStation gamers. Me? I feel like I should care more about this, since the development underscores the fact that all of our modern consoles are ticking time bombs. Existing only as long as they can access the internet and shit. But I only got so much fucking emotional bandwidth, so I’ll just punt this down the line for awhile. That said, I’m stoked for all the gamers who were going to be significant bummed by the initial decision. Well done, Masters of the Caterwauls!
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[Trailer Here!] Ubisoft confirms ‘Assassin’s Creed Rogue’ for PS3, Xbox 360
Ubisoft has finally confirmed what we’ve known for months: they’re making an Assassin’s Creed exclusively for the last-gen systems. All it took was a trailer leak for them finally get off their asses and throw us the bone.
Details and trailer post-jump!
PlayStation “FOR THE PLAYERS SINCE 1995” TRAILER: TIME-CAKED GOOSEBUMPS
Oh man, this video. I can feel the winds of time brush over me as I watch it. As someone who has consistently owned a PlayStation product since buying his PSX on launch day, the little retrospective simultaneously amps me for PS4 while making me nostalgic for some Battle Arena Toshinden.
Jump into the time machine after the jump.
‘THE LAST GUARDIAN’ is ‘ON HIATUS.’ Confirmed to be SPENDING WEEKENDS with ‘HALF-LIFE 3.’
The Last Guardian is “oh hiatus”? Uhhh. I know it’s not the same thing, but a game that hasn’t been shown for years isn’t one that I consider active. Hiding, “on hiatus”, in development Hell. These are all roses by another name. At least to me.
MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE: LIFE ONE QUARTER MILE AT A TIME.
Welcome to Monday Morning Commute. This is the column where we all slow down enough to talk about what we’re enjoying on a given week. Me? How am I doing? Why, how kind of you to ask! As you may or may not know, I work on a college campus. And this week I’m lucky enough to enjoy the week off between Spring and Summer semesters. I’m going to spend the next seven days trying to figure out what that fuck I’m going to be teaching in a month, watching The Most Ill of all Bro Movies, and throwing a party at my new apartment. It’ll be a good week.
I’ve been to Columbia – Bioshock Infinite
It’s eerie to waltz around a world I’ve seen in trailers on and off since 2011. Eerie and awe-inspiring. Columbia is another City 17; avid gamers will hopefully feel happy to hear me draw the comparison.
There’s been so much said about the game, both from two years’ worth of previews and advance (groan) exclusive reviews over the past week. I won’t waste your time with fluff; here are some (spoiler-free) thoughts from my five-hour foray into Columbia so far.
WII U sales collapse in JANUARY, everyone cackle and point.
If the reports are true, the Wii U’s January sales were worse than any month in in either the Xbox 360 or PS3 lifespan. But! But! But! You can hold an enormous tablet! It serves as a second screen! Wee! Goddamn, I am glad that not many people are running out to gobble up this uninspired nonsense. Of course, I am glad while silently acknowledging that some Miyamoto magic will inevitably draw the system into my house.
‘GRAND THEFT AUTO V’ delayed until September 17, whattayagonnado.
Grand Theft Auto V has been delayed, thereby causing like, more than several people to frown. Oh lord, if you could see these frowns. The people don’t even respect themselves, drooling half-chewed pizza and such all over their t-shirts. Embarrassing. C’mon guys, it is just a game.
‘DEAD SPACE 3’ features N7 ARMOR and microstransactions. Win some, lose some.
At this point in the dance, continuing to complain about microtransactions in gaming is like me complaining about blood in my stool. It is part and parcel for the area. If I didn’t want blood in my stool, I’d stop soaking my cells in aluminium filings to keep away the Illuminati Mind Control. If I didn’t want to deal with microtransactions, I would stop gaming. Dead Space 3 is the latest culprit in this spreading phenomenon. But don’t cry! It has N7 armor for some of us. Wee!
Watch: First FIVE MINUTES of ‘BIOSHOCK INFINITE.’ Do you dare?
I’m not watching this. However, I’m presenting you with the opportunity. Do you dare to spoil?
