Props to frequent member of the community Cacophonous Kevos for bringing this to my attention. A bar out in Seattle has already banned Google Glass. You know, the AR glasses that aren’t really out in the public yet. Their reasoning works on a certain level, but I can’t get behind it. We need to embrace the disembracement of the flesh-sac! C’mon, folks. Let us transcend this mortal bodies. Or at least be allowed to wear glasses so we can stare at bums on tumblr in our tech-goggles whilst drinking a pint. Right?

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Welcome to the future, flunkies. The US Supreme court is getting a case in which they’re essentially deciding whether or not human genes are patentable. I think. That’s what my fat head gleaned from this story, but I was also half-covered in peanut butter. Sitting on the toilet. Reading it on my iPhone.

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The wonky motherfuckers at MIT have struck once more. Everyone knows that brain implants granting the human flesh telekinesis and flight are right around the corner. What is going to power these reality-bending wunder machines? Obviously spinal fluid.

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There’s been a breakthrough in the development of synthetic synapses, and it’s a goddamn privilege that I even get to type that sentence. We’re flying head first into the future, folks. What is even more impressive is that soon that head is going to be cyber-nano-non-organic.

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All right, let’s be upfront. As is the case with most “Oh my fucking gawd, breakthrough!” posts, this article is more about potential cure than sudden miracle. Haters, you’ve been warned. Let us enjoy the potential for a solar-powered bionic eye together.

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