The PlayStation 4 is Sony’s fastest selling console of all time. Moving mad units! Crashing their PSN like a motherfucker. I have to admit that this surprises me. I’ve sort of anticipated that despite all the positive buzz for the console, the XBRO would run over it none the less. It still may. But this is a great start for the company’s new Big Bad.

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With the PlayStation 4 being only a week away, I’m pretty much frothing at the mouth. And groin. And under my arms. Seriously my arm pits are so sweaty and the drippings taste way more disgusting than usual. Even still, I’m not really sure what I’m doing on launch day. Techno-fetish rubbing of the console? Sure. But what else? Ehhh. Perchance Sony senses my confusion, and they are at least doing a solid by providing launch day buyers with a little goodies pack.

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Two weeks from tomorrow, the PlayStation Fun Machine the Fourth drops. Three weeks from tomorrow, the Microsoft Xboned Before It Arrives will hit shelves. With the  console gaming world embroiled in the debate as to the merit of both machines, an olden warrior sits in the corner. Sales dismal, library laughable, nary a soul gives a fuck about the Nintendo Wii U.

Myself included.

I miss the days when I gave a fuck about Nintendo.

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Sony done fucked up. That’s all I’m saying. No way can you convince me those dildo-heads over at the PlayStation Palace didn’t accidentally reveal Grand Theft Auto V for the PS4.

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Dear Sony: I have you all prepped to take my money. The PS4 has been pre-purchased on Amazon. My frothing desire mounts. Now just tell me when the fucking console is dropping.

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Ever since I signed a contract with the guy behind the 7-Eleven who promised me a launch PS4 in dick blood and tears, I’ve wondered to myself. Namely, what the fuck am I doing with my life? How did he know I’d be so happy to scab my cock head just for a gaming console? Oh! And also when the fucking jam was going to breach shelves.

Well, it looks like we may have an answer.

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Let’s talk about how important Monday was for determining the game industry’s narrative for the coming months.

Let’s also talk about what it means to gamers like you, and me, and how industry giants like Microsoft and Sony communicated with us via the grand stage of E3.

Monday saw PR-beleageured Microsoft take the stage first, around 9:30 a.m. Pacific Time. There’s no beating around the bush – they had an uphill battle to wage, one very much set up by their own PR snafoos over the last month.

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The Monday and Tuesday of the annual E3 week are always a fascinating pair of days to watch unfold from a PR perspective. The show floor opens its doors to attendees on Tuesday afternoon, but by then, an entire story has been told to the media through a series of conferences, briefings and events that kick off the week.

E3 seems unlike any other industry trade show on the planet. It’s equivalents in other industries, from television, to film, to fashion, to food, all seem tame by comparison. At least, from the perspective of public relations.

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I’m running out of headlines, folks. Been blogging for a solid twelve hours now. I’m really enthused for this game. Maybe it’ll let me down. Maybe it won’t. The Diet Pepsi coiling itself around my brain stem tells me not to worry about it. To just take off my pants. Run through the lightly falling rain. Hide in a trash can. Eat banana rinds.

I should listen, right?

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The biggest pop today at the pre-E3 conferences came when Sony audibly shat all down the throat of Microsoft’s unpopular restrictions, and online policies. It was an amazingly earnest moment at what is usually a bunch of canned, forced, presentations. Imma go ahead and rub my face against PS4 screenshots.

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