Authoritarian regimes maintain power by cracking skulls and giving exactly zero fucks.

Remember that time Napoleon rewarded Boxer’s ceaseless efforts with a trip to the glue-factory? Or how about when Grand Moff Tarkin blew up an entire goddamn planet? And who could ever forget when the children of Panem murdered each other for entertainment?

The reason that all of this wonderful brutality occurred was because those in power didn’t have to justify their actions. Without checks and balances, these motherfuckers were able to do as these pleased, whatever the consequences. And although freedom fighters occasionally inspire resistance, there are still plenty of totalitarian forces at work today.

Even in the beer world.

Tonight I’m drinking a limited edition Russian Imperial Stout from the folks at Otter Creek Brewing. Having had my interest piqued by the Soviet-styled design on the label and box, I wanted to learn more about this stout. Hell, I even compiled a list of questions. But when I went to the brewery’s website, I was greeted by nothing more than an “under construction” declaration and the encouragement to visit the Otter Creek Facebook page.

Thanks but no thanks, Otter Creek! I haven’t been on Facebook in years, and I ain’t fallin’ for your ruse! It’s pretty obvious what’s goin’ on. The Otter Creek Elite wants me to join Facebook and “friend” them, and then they’ll monitor my beer-drinkin’ habits (via status updates and photo evidence) to target me more directly! Before I know it, Otter Creek shadow agents will be infiltrating the parties I throw, telling revelers about the newest promotions available from a beloved Middlebury, Vermont brewery.

Insidious.

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August is now nothing more than a fleeting memory, a remembrance hoping to save itself by clinging to one of the few synapses that I haven’t killed with television and caffeine.   Some may see this unrelenting march as the temporal equivalent of total warfare, but I welcome the change of seasons. So while September is always a drag for schoolchildren and the Kansas City Royals, I welcome the ninth month of the year with open arms.

C’mon, September, let’s do this! Bring me the end of humidity and sunburns! Bring me pre-season hockey! Bring me the glory that is autumn!

And since you’re offering anyways, feel free to bring me your wonderful slew of Oktoberfest-inspired brews!

So to celebrate the changing of the guard, the graceful acceptance of time’s one-way flow, I’m sipping on Otter Creek’s Oktoberfest.

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