#July2015
First Look: Apocalypse, Psylocke, Magneto and futzing Mohawk Storm from ‘X-Men: Apocalypse’
Everyone’s bagging on Apocalypse in these X-Men: Apocalypse stills from Entertainment Weekly. Whatever — remember how fucking lame all the Days of Future Past promos looked? Rather, let’s keep it positive *and* talk about how fucking gnarly Storm looks.
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HBO’s David Simon show starring Oscar Isaac, ‘Show Me a Hero’, premiering in August
Bruh. Bruh! How did I not know about this? Oscar Isaac? David Simon? HBO? The year of Oscar rolls the fuck onward!
‘The Force Awakens’ photos from ‘Vanity Fair’ reveal villain, more details
May the fucking Fourth be with you, yadda, yadda, pop culture momentum, blah blah. Let me not get wrapped up in the banality of the Pseudo-Holiday, and instead be excited for these photos form Vanity Fair.
Monday Morning Commute: You Can Be Damn Sure We’ll Sequelize It!
It’s Monday Morning Commute! That time of the week where I share the various shizit I’m going to be totally rubbin’ up upon during a given week. These proverbial (and literal) dry-humpings are intended as salves against the burn of Existence. Ultimately empty employments of distraction that prohibit me from achieving some sort of proletarian cathexis designed to Damn The Man. But let’s be honest. We can’t damn the man, that ship has sailed. So let’s watch superhero movies, drink beer, and enjoy our moments of frivolity.
‘The Force Awakens’ Trailer: Old School Aesthetic Forcegasm
Rendar, Bateman, Riff and I trudged out in the cold and snow this morning. Spent $7. Sat through a litany of trailers. And finally got to watch the eighty-eight second Force Awakens teaser. Promptly left the fucking theater. It was probably the highlight of my year. Old school aesthetics, the fucking Falcon, fucking John Boyega, a fucking Sith, fucking FUCK. Yes. Fuck. Fuck.
Oscar Isaac cast in ‘X-Men: Apocalypse’ as the titular villain
Oscar Isaac is going BIG TIME, BRO. Not only is he in the upcoming Wars of Stars Flick, but apparently he’s going to be kicking muties’ asses in the next X-Men installment.
‘EPISODE VII’ CAST ANNOUNCED. MY NIPPLES HURT WITH GLEE.
Oh baby, my nipples are hurting. Nay. My nipples are leaking from excitement. The Episode VII cast has finally been announced, and it is stocked with a cavalcade of oldies and newbies that get me taut in all the applicable places.
‘EPISODE VII’ News: Oscar Isaac up for major role. Plus Ford has “gigantic” role. Uh?
Shit, I’ll level with you. Probably none of this is actually news. First up. Oscar Isaac is up for a “major role”, if theater commitments can be accommodated. Second up. Harrison Ford has a “gigantic role” in Episode VII. Yup –you’ve read that right. In the blackout that surrounds Episode VII, mentioning that HAN FUCKING SOLO has a BIG ROLE is news. Am I perpetuating it? Aye.
‘INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS’ Trailer: Everything is sad, and I like it.
Oh, Coen Brothers. I have not thought about you lately, even though I have assuredly watched Lebowski at least twenty times since your last filmic endeavor. Now, here you are. Back! Back with a gorgeous little trailer, starring some hunky, tortured folk soul with a righteous beard. I’ve missed you.
