Chris Redfield is going to star in the next Resident Evil 7 DLC. I don’t know how! ‘Cause I didn’t read the specifics! Cause! I haven’t come close to beating the game yet. But! Nice! However, I did cross my eyes and cut and paste the explanation, so it lies within. You’re welcome.

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Oh come all ye degenerates! Hop in the back of my apocalypse van. Don your headgear. Station your flesh-sack safely within some of my finest armor, carved from jerkied Marauder flesh and cheap steel. And ride! Ride with me! On this Monday Morning Commute. Beclad in armor, mind rotting with the Hops and Leaves, we shall share what we’re enjoying this week.

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