Oh shit! One week until Bayonetta sensually brushes up onto these shores. Are your genitals engorged? Are they swollen for non-stop climax action? I friggin’ hope so! I have a whole god damn plate of video games I haven’t finished yet, but it doesn’t matter. I want to climax, baby. CLIMAX. They’ll be discarded like the underwear I’m going to cheese with love when I finally slide this in. See what I did there? LOL! Fuck you.

This game has taken on a life of its own over here at Omega Level. I can’t even tell you how many hits we get a day for search terms like:

Bayonetta shits her own leather undies
Bayonetta sex
Bayonetta booty shorts

It’s sort of spiraled into its own bizarre fascination for me, and plus, you know, it gets me cheap hits. A bunch of horny nerds, cocks or clits in hand, ready to rub one out to Mrs. Gunshoes. It’s become a recurring joke born out a general excitement I have for the game. Again, it’s like, Devil May Cry starring a babe with gorgeous cleavage, glasses, and leather. Kamiya is playing on every visceral overtone in our animalistic bones. Well played, sir.

One week. You guys can make it.