#February2016
Nintendo reveals ‘Pokémon Sun’ and ‘Pokémon Moon’ for the Nintendo 3DS
I’m really, sort of, really feeling lately like I should play a Pokémon game. They seem addictive, RPGish, and generally fun. That said, I know fucking nothing about them. Like, why do they reveal two of the games at the same time, seemingly all the time? Do you need to buy both? Do they each offer different things? Someone teach me.
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Watch: ‘Super Mario Bros.’ beaten blindfolded in 15-minutes
Man. I haven’t played the original Super Mario Bros., in a hot minute. I’m absolutely certain however that it would take me significantly more time than 15-minutes to beat the game, using my eyes.
Report: Nintendo’s new console “NX” to be revealed in June, released in October-November
Man. They’re really doing it, Nintendo. Aren’t they? I stubbornly want to dismiss every report about their upcoming system, since I just snagged their current one last Christmas. And the company ain’t never given me the Zelda on the system they promised, nor a new 3D Mario. Which chaps my ass! But alas, it appears I’m just going to have to #RockTheSerenityPrayer and accept this.
‘The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess HD’ coming to Wii U on March 4, 2016
Hey! Who needs a new Legend of Zelda game?! I mean, I would surely like one! But I’m not going to be getting it any time soon, it appears. Instead, Nintendo is offering me a futzing second Zelda HD Remake for the Wii U. Hard pass.
Cloud Strife from ‘Final Fantasy VII’ to be in ‘Smash Smash Bros’
Holy shit. I own Super Smash Bros, but I’ve lamentably never played it. The time is coming. The time is coming soon when I must fix this.
Oh: Nintendo’s first smartphone game is ‘Miitomo’
Ah! So I’m glad I can continue on my merry way of having no fucks to give re: Nintendo’s smartphone presence.
Nintendo revealing first smartphone game tomorrow; dropping this year
Tomorrow, Nintendo is dropping the curtain on its first smartphone game. Which will probably sell a zillion copies (units?).
Report: Nintendo’s NX console handheld and console in some way
Oh, Nintendo. Just keep fucking around with the peripherals and other gadgets. ‘Cause that’s going to reinvigorate your dwindling console market presence.
