Some internet being is trying to sell a new-in-the-box set of Zelda dinnerware for upwards of $100,000. The uh, gorgeous set was released in 1989, and is apparently like totally rare. The description on the eBay page mentions that some of the uh, hopeful $100,000 will go to the Red Cross:

The box is in excellent condition with some wonderful artwork on the back. There is a sheet of plastic covering the window on the front of the box which is still completely intact with no tears! The set includes a plate, a cup and a bowl. I have looked all over the internet for this set, but I have only seen people with the pieces of the set and not the entire set all together in the original box.

This is really a rare find and it is likely that there is no other such set even complete together in existence still today. If you are a collector of Nintendo or Legend of Zelda items, this is a must have. It was made by Peter Pan and is officially licensed by Nintendo. I am going to put a donation on this auction too because if this is going to sell for what it should sell for, then I think part of that money should go to a charity.

Starting bid is at $15,000. Asking price is $100,000. I got $75, who wants to go halfsies? It’s for fucking charity, ya pricks!

Via.

[Photo: Ripten.]

Billy Mitchell is the ultimate gaming villain. He’s got a sick ass mullet, a sick ass beard, sick ass hot sauce, and now an homage in recently released Donkey Kong Country Returns. Sure, he doesn’t have the world record anymore in the original Donkey Kong. But with props, a sick mullet, and the likes, who gives a fuck.

Probably him.

But still, his amazing USA tie can be found in the game. Got the game? Keep an eye out in the monkey ruins in World 3-2, and you can see a serious daps to the baddest motherfucker in the gamin’ world.

If only they could have worked in his mullet of glory.

Look at the stars and stripes on Billy’s tie, and look at the stars and stripes on the the monkey ruins in world 3-2 of Donkey Kong Country Returns.

So this is what Nintendo felt like they needed to trademark “It’s On Like Donkey Kong!” for? Outstanding. Yup. This is it. The best part about the advertisement is the next line. Where they urge everyone to hold onto our bananas. Well then! I’ll just grab my cock and get ready to play this shit!

It’s on!

[Source: zero-lives via Gamefreaks]

I find the implications of a gorilla stealing a blond-haired, white princess to be horribly racist.

Or something.

Nintendo sure knows how to suck the fucking fun out of things: roll up and trademark a cultural phrase. “It’s On Like Donkey Kong!” has been a geek phrase for a while now. In case you didn’t miss it, you drop this phrase when shit is really about to pop off. Shit is getting serious! So Nintendo, like some confused parent trying to be cool, has decided to co-op the phrase. By filing a trademark for it. You fucking geeks. They want to use it to promote their forthcoming game, Donkey Kong Country Returns.

Guys, c’mon. First off, you don’t need that phrase to promote the game. It didn’t work as a phrase to promote Scott Pilgrim, did it? And secondly, did you really need to trademark it to use it in your campaign?

Whatever the case, they’ve taken back the phrase. Officially commodified it. Which, in case they don’t follow pop culture, makes it instantly thirty-thousand times less cool.

[Robert Leduc-Reasoner via Gamefreaks]

Damien Canderle reimagined our buddy Link as a wizened, old bad ass son of a bitch as part of ZBrush Central’s “Age of Legends” contest for Comicon. I don’t think I need to elaborate, but this all smacks of fucking righteous awesomitude. Not that we’ll ever see something like this, but the beard itself makes Link beyond fierce, and the attention paid to the outfit is stupendous. Damien Canderle, you are one talented, jaw-dropping son of a bitch. Slow clap.

Hit the jump for more pictures of Sir Elder Link.

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Listen man! When I hit puberty while playing Star Fox 64, you know what the first thing I did was? I put the rumble pack right on my little barely-pubescent testicles and I felt the roar of stimulation. It just seemed so natural, you know? And keeping that in mind, I’ve been wondering where the fuck the Wiimote sex toys have been! Well god dammit, they’re finally here.

The world has become a better, more orgasmic place today.

Destructoid:

“The device is attached to the accessory port on a Nintendo  Wii  remote control,” explains manufacturer Mojowijo. “The control is then connected to a bluetooth enabled PC running Mojowijo software.

“Using Mojowijo’s patent pending  Motion2Vibration  technology, the device is able to transform the varying motions of the control into appropriate vibration signals and send them to another selected device – in the same room or over the internet. (Wii gaming console NOT required). Essentially turning your Wii remotes into shared, remote controlled vibrators (aka wii vibrator or wiibrator!).”

The central gimmick here is that you get to control another person’s vibrator as opposed to your own, which makes them masturbation devices for people who should just be having actual sex. Unless they’re miles apart, in which case these things work over Skype.

A good god damn! You don’t even need the Wii! Hell yeah! Welcome to the world of robotic-claw-testicle-genital-stimulation! In the future this is going to be so passe, but right now I want to you know, manipulate genitals over the internet using a Wiimote. You don’t?

Yo! I know you’re sitting around wondering how you can define yourself through external expressive motions! How about by buying a really fucking expensive sweater, featuring Super Mario? Not sold, well how about if it’s through the website from the dude who created Earthbound?

Destructoid:

Shigesato Itoi, the man who created Earthbound, has an online store where he sells things that are rad. His store just released its “1st Season” catalog for 2010 and it features some really cool stuff. The most relevant to a gaming site is a really sweet wool sweater featuring Mario and Luigi.

The sweaters are 100 percent wool and made by hand. It’s all licensed and official too. Here’s the kicker, though: they cost ¥36,000 (US$435), and that isn’t even adding in whatever the shipping costs would be to get it out of Japan. I’m all for high fashion, but I’d rather just buy every Mario game ever and then find a Mario sticker and slap it on an old sweater.

Man, this shit ain’t for a nerd like me. For starters, I’m fucking poor. Also, I’m a man-child, which means within nine minutes of owning this sweater, it’d be covered in accidental salsa blasts and crumbs from a variety of things. But if you’re affluent, and chic, be a total douchebag and indulge in this sweater. Then send me pictures so I can simultaneously find you ridiculous/be fatally jealous of you.

Hey Ma! Yeah you, Ma! Remember when you said that video games weren’t real? And that I shouldn’t cry over Aeris dying because she was fake? And that I was a disappointment and that you were glad you had a second child to correct your mistake?! Well guess what, video games are real! And Bowser died 3,000 years ago after totally kicking all shitloads of ass I bet.

Kotaku:

This extinct species of turtle was five-feet wide and weighed half a ton. It also looks a lot like a certain Nintendo villain.

The dog nose, the horns, the beaked mouth, the (relatively) enormous size…it’s official name is Meiolania platyceps, but it may as well have been called Meiolania Bowserus, so uncanny is the resemblance to Mario’s chief antagonist.

I know, Bowser and his Koopas are supposed to look like turtles, but this one goes a little further than looking like a turtle. I think it’s the horns. And especially the eyes. Those dark, angled, evil eyes

Well then, Mom! Take that shit. If you want to apologize, I’ll be sitting down here in my basement dungeon, penning epistles to Princess Peach about how fucking hot her ass is in that pink tuft of a dress. Slide the apology under the chain-links.