I’m really, sort of, really feeling lately like I should play a Pokémon game. They seem addictive, RPGish, and generally fun. That said, I know fucking nothing about them. Like, why do they reveal two of the games at the same time, seemingly all the time? Do you need to buy both? Do they each offer different things? Someone teach me.

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You have to be a wondrous kind of retard to pull off this stunt. Some dude working at a Chinese factory (apparently) stole a Nintendo 3DS from the production line. Like true wondrous retards are wont to do, he decided to show the world of his egregious theft. There was a video of this by-now-dead-dickhead showing off the wares, but it has been understandably taken down by “user”. Or in other words, before he died, they forced him at blade point to delete it.

Curious as to what it showed? It showed “Super Mario 64 DS being added to the cartridge slot, it seems that the unit is unable to run any retail games, only booting a black screen with the SDK version and memory information (96  steaming hot megabytes of RAM, for those wondering).”

Thrilling!

Want more images of this douche shown off his stolen wares? Hit the jump.

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Kotaku picked up on a CNN article where   Microsoft Game Studios VP Phil Spencer is talking up the Nintendo 3DS, while calling the rest of 3D gaming a “science experiment”. Well then! What exactly is Spencer’s reasoning for praising the upcoming Nintendo handheld, while taking a presumed swipe on Sony’s entry into 3D gaming on the PS3? Dude explains!

CNN:

“I like the 3DS,” Spencer said, though he hadn’t actually seen it firsthand. He likes the concept because “you don’t have to wear the glasses.”

I agree with you on that one, Philly. Nothing screams choad like wearing some goofy fucking glasses while you’re trying to watch television, or play video games. I mean, talk about fucking gimmicky. But do you know what’s just as gimmicky as wearing some fucking goggles on your fat mug? Doing karate kicks to control something on screen!

Yeah, that’s right the fucking Kinect is about as retarded and gimmicky. Now, I’m embellishing a bit. He didn’t actually demean 3D gaming as gimmicky. I did. I just sort of conflated the two. But it seems amusing that he doesn’t see something ludicrous in fingering animals with your hands through pantomiming, but he thinks some glasses on your faceplate aren’t anything more than fucking around with science.

Thoughts? Shazam!