The title is some shitty pun on the fact that we got too far to go this Winter, my dudes. Yeah, fuck me with a sideways plank, it’s brutal. But, what do you want out of me? I like Fargo, and I hate the Winter, and I’m just doing my best!

And man, do I fucking hate Winter. I used to stunt and pretend I enjoyed it. Alas, that fucking period has passed. Sure, sure, I enjoy the crisp air. And if the planet stopped melting for a moment to provide the Northeast with some snow, I’d enjoy too. But, what are the Lords currently offering me? Miserable, raw-ass rainy days and darkened evenings.

Anyways, how the fuck you doing? Me? I’m still in this liminal state between semesters. Where theoretically I’m on campus tutoring for the Winter session. However in reality? I’m staring at asses on Tumblr and writing up this wonderful little column.

It could be much, much worse, I admit. Plus, holy jizz cannoli, do I have a lot of things I’m currently enjoying.

Come, come. Follow my over-caffeinated, hunched ass into the dungeon. Check out what I’m sweating this week. Then, oh I implore you, let me know what you’re looking forward to over the next seven slivers of existence.

This is Monday Morning Commute!

Read the rest of this entry »

How’s it going, friends? Me? I’m about to put a cap on the wonderful age of thirty-five. How was the year? Some good. Some bad. Another year of sucking wind, and another year of having my health. Thus, it’s hard not to feel grateful as I hurdle into the back-end of my thirties tomorrow.

I’m in the best shape of my life. Mentally, physically, and as a teacher. Yet, oh does Entropy ever whisper in my ear. Quietly passing along the irrefutable axiom, “all of this is borrowed.”  Eh, what can you do, you know? Spend the time with friends and family, purpose and appreciation.

Read the rest of this entry »

Yeehaw, motherfuckers! It’s another edition of Monday Morning Commute. Oh, you know! The column where I wank-off over what is titillating me on a given week. I’ll level with all you varmints! I’m attempting to churn this big ole pig out before teaching my 2pm class! Thus, if I’m hitting the column with some alacrity, it’s because I’d rather be terse than absent.

Let’s hang out in the comments, after I drop my list on ya’lls asses.

Read the rest of this entry »

Oh, you thought you had seen the last of me? You know, me. Not the cavalcade of memes and occasional pop culture bursts that I post. Rather, the man-behind-the-man-behind-the-man?

Or, maybe I’m just bleeding banality and self-importance into a WordPress document for the ninth-year running.

Or, maybe you’re an OL regular who just sort of expected me to return when I found a moment in the existential rip tide. You know, a moment where I can stick my head briefly above water. A moment where I can share what I’m up to in this weird wild world.

Well, that moment is now, my friends! And, I must confess that I’m pushing through considerable fatigue to puke this up quick! This Monday Morning Commute! The weekly column where I share the arts and farts I’m currently enjoying. Or anticipating. I hope you’ll join me in the comments section, letting me know what you’re up to this week!

Read the rest of this entry »