It’s a spectacular time to be a Star Wars fan.

George Lucas, perhaps after being visited by some benevolent omnidimensional sojourner, has sold his most beloved franchise. The moment that fans realized Lucas was finally out of the picture, we began to dream. To wonder. To flirt with the idea that the piss-taste that’s been lurking in our mouths since 2005 may very well be washed away. New Star Wars films could be treated with the respect they deserve.

So, what’ve we been promised thus far? A new trilogy. Kasdan and Kinberg. J.J. Abrams. Cameos from members of the original cast. The interest of Hollywood’s finest actors and directors and other personnel. Spin-off, stand-alone movies.

In short, we finally have a newer hope.

Yesterday’s confirmation of the stand-alone flicks was the final nail in the coffin for my cautious optimism. I am now, for the first time in years, reveling in full-on nerdlust at the thought of new Star Wars. And while I have quite a bit of faith that a new trilogy could be beyond excellent, I’ve always loved the idea of free-standing movies taking place within the galaxy that Uncle George introduced back in `77!

Join me as I take a moment to geek-out about the prospect of new Star Wars movies! I’m going to fanboy my way through some of the premises I’d like to see materialize, no doubt getting so excited that my retainer spills onto the keyboard and my Diet Shasta bubbles over. After you check out my ideas, hit up the comments section and describe what you’d like to see during our next voyages to a galaxy far, far away…

Punch it, Chewie!

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Disney ain’t just buying Star Wars, they are making fucking moves. They aren’t just spitting about Episode VII, they’ve already got a treatment for the bastard done. Woah.

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This is a few days old, but I hope you’ll forgive me. For starters, I make it a point to take the weekends off from continual internet refreshing and posting. Consider it my downtime. Of course, the internet doesn’t sleep, and shit happens. And secondly, when I read this shit, I blacked-out. I woke up in a puddle of my own corn-heavy vomit. Just gallons and gallons of corn-filled puke. All over my body. My eyes were red, my mind was certain: there is no God.

Why? [Rumor] George Lucas is apparently making three more Star Wars movies.

Slashfilm:

IESB — who has been known to have connections at Lucasfilm in the past — is currently reporting that Lucas is “plotting to create” new Star Wars movies which would be released after the six three 3D re-releases and would take place far in the future, not relating to the Skywalkers. More after the jump? You bet we do.

In the IESB piece, they back up their source by informing readers that they broke the news of Revenge of the Sith’s PG-13 rating, the live action TV show as well as The Clone Wars show. They believe that’s enough to substantiate the rumor.

Specifically, they report that while working on the 3D conversions of the new films, which will begin in 2012 with Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Lucas “has gotten the itch.” He has “gotten motivated with the success the Clone Wars animated series, the video games and also with the success of Avatar.”

The sequels, not prequels, would not focus on the Skywalkers, but instead be set in the future. Same universe, but totally different story. By doing this, Lucas doesn’t have to fit pieces into a puzzle like he had to do with the prequels. And he has stated that that process was creatively constricting to him.

Well fuck me sideways, with an ignited lightsaber. You should have seen the look of pure terror when I told Pepsibones this news. He was fresh off a great weekend of drinking heavily and celebrating his birthday. It was a weekend of merriment. I almost felt guilt letting him know that in fact, our childhood was going to get spread, and fucked ruthlessly once more. His eyes darkened, and fear filled the parts of his soul he wished not to acknowledge existed. His innocence, which he had long thought dead, or at least outright denied.

Fuck George Lucas. Let me be clear about something. I don’t hate the idea of more Star Wars content in any form if it’s done right. I hate the idea of George Lucas making any more Star Wars content. If this rumor had “Del Toro” or “Spielberg” or “Jackson” or “Blomkamp” attached to it, I’d be losing my god damn shit with glee. It’s the fact that, if this is true, fat Lucas will be bumbling and raping his own mythos again. And that ladies and gentleman, makes me very, very afraid.

I have puke to wipe up.