My girlfriend works in biotechnology, and has an understanding about these sorts of topics. Due to this, she cuts deep, contemptuous farts on these sorts of stories. Without hesitation, she will proceed to tell me how the study isn’t conclusive. How it is just something people are hypothesizing on. I weep. Just let me have this sort of pointless pontificating. I need to believe the possibility that my hefty testicles will thwart prostate cancer, living to be a colonizer of Mars.

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