One of those stalwart manners for cross-promoting a comic book and a funny rag movie is to get yourself a tie-in comic. Usually that sort of thing makes me puke chunks. Little corn-filled chunks, from them corn and beans empanadas that I pound before power lifting. Maybe this next one from DC will be different, though. They haven’t confirmed it, but word on the corporate-synergy-market-everything-into-paste vine is that Scotty Snyder will be helming a Man of Steel comic.

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[Caff note: spoilers abound in the post-article comments area. You were warned. As well, Omega-Level sends out love, thoughts and best-wishes to everyone grappling with the DKR midnight shooting tragedy in Colorado]

How is anything supposed to follow The Dark Knight?  Nolan’s trilogy ender will reap enormous numbers of attendees and box office dollars solely based on people wanting another TDK.  Another round of dark, violent and unpredictable chaos in Gotham.  Another villain as jarringly memorable as Ledger’s Joker.  And another story that transcends comic roots and becomes lovingly embraced by the mainstream as a ‘crime saga’.

This might hurt your appreciation of Rises as it nearly did mine.  In so many ways, this film feels like a direct sequel to Batman Begins.  It notably takes the few elements it needs from the trilogy’s second chapter – Harvey Dent’s ‘legacy’, Rachel’s death and Bruce’s need to pass the mantle on – and forgets about the others, rejoining the stream Begins established seven years ago.

It’s awesome that the film feels like a much more appropriate bookend to Nolan’s trilogy in that regard.  My fear was that the runaway success and rampant permeation of the Joker and TDK into popular culture would mean that everything about Rises would follow from, and be influenced by TDK, and only TDK.  Not so.  Not so at all.  I’m definitely still a little dizzy off the high of the midnight venture to see this, and I’m sure I missed many more vital connections to TDK, so take his all as a sleep-deprived first gut reaction.

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Eric Stephenson isn’t just Image Comics’ publisher, he’s also an opinionated dude with an interesting vision of the evolving market. The good sir has recently taken to his blog to expound on the virtues of independent comics as movie pitches.

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I’m pretty friggin’ stoked for Django Unchained, and there isn’t much that can be done to deflate my excitement. So while two actors I am not disinclined to rub-up upon have left, I shall continue with my jittery smirks when contemplating this flick.

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 Welcome to Friday’s (no longer Thursday, because I apparently can’t get my shit together on Thursdays) most ridiculous column, Cinematic Polyamory, which — for those of you playing the home game — basically amounts to an ongoing list of the famous people I want to bang.

Last week, I opened with my two number one celeb spouses: Emma Thompson and Steven Spielberg. Today’s lucky duo have been on the list since 2005; celeb hubby #2 has been fixed at numero duo ever since I clapped eyes on him, while celeb wife #2 took about a year to get to her current spot. Never the less, they remain two of the most powerful actors today and someday I will be married to one or both of them. Because I have goals. And I always accomplish my goals. Just give me a pack of Orbit Wintermint gum, a pair of scissors, some lube, and a duck mask, and I’ll have what I want within an hour or so.

Terrified? You damn well should be.

As that Kabuki-looking chick from The Hunger Games says: ladies first.

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Last week I took a pounding for hating on some classic movies.   Except the Hangover … seems most of the super intelligent OL crowd didn’t fall for that movie.   This week I want to move on to happier topics, like death.   What makes a good death scene?   Dying for ones beliefs and convictions?   Sure, that’ll do.   Giving some epic prose before sloughing off this mortal coil?   Sure, that’s a good one too.   I think that a great death scene has meaning.   This means that we have to care about the characters, no easy feat.   So here they are, my top 5 Death Scenes.

Just be warned, there are spoilers ahead for the following movies: Star Wars, LA Confidential, Saving Private Ryan, Blade Runner, and Highlander: End Game.

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Mahky-mahk, Russian Babe McGee, and Peter Griffin team up for a movie about a living teddy bear. Yeah, I’ll give you a minute to re-read that. The thing is, Seth MacFarlane is a pretty clever bastard when he wants to be. Remember when Family Guy was good? You know, before he relinquished creative control and then it devolved into Misogyny Weekly? So I actually have semi-high hopes for this. I mean, if anything, it’ll be a raunchy comedy for me to enjoy; I probably laughed way harder than I was supposed to while watching this.

Hit the jump to watch the VERY MUCH NSFW trailer.

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I thought that Tom Cruise in Rock of Ages  was going to be a goddamn train wreck. What I didn’t realize was that the movie wasn’t going to take itself seriously. It’s a uh, comedy? I’m not certain. All I know is that while I watching the trailer I felt moderately entertained while trying to figure out how serious this flick’s tone was intended  to be.

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Perchance this is the sort of double-dipping that you may be into. Oni Press has announced that they’re going to release a full-color version of Scott Pilgrim  in an “ultra swank” format.

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You’re unlikely to see a more amazing  thing today. Behold the trailer for Step Up Revolution, something so chuck full of insanity that I wish I was there snorting the drugs and krumping to Pitbull while they wrote this script. It’s so, so, so goddamn horrible. I need it.

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