It’s the Night of Night, my friends! Sitting here at 4pm, it’s a mere three hours until I finally get to see a new movie in the theaters. Thirteen months! Lost twenty-pounds (not good), gained twenty-pounds (about 5 pounds too many), grew a mustache, grew a beard, grew a mustache, and now I’m back to a beard. Since I’ve been in the theater last there’s been insurrections, elections, and a couple of Marvel television shows. It’s been a hell of a fucking ride, some bad, some good, the majority banal.

Anyways! That’s what is on the tip of my synaptic iceberg tonight! But there’s other shit popping off this weekend, and I want to share in all the revelry with you folks! Right here, at the Goddamn Open Bar!

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The trailer for the new Mortal Kombat has dropped, and I have no idea if I fucking hate it or not. Undoubtedly, it’s got some of the classic iconography that makes my dick stiffer than one of Sub-Zero’s victims. (That’s an awful pop culture reference, and if you enjoyed it, woof.) At the same time, isn’t this franchise supposed to be fun? It’s a patently idiotic franchise, and that’s what makes the games (and the original movie) so dope. The whole grim dark posturing going on this trailer is pretty ass, and antithetical to the heart of the franchise.

But, you know how it goes. It’s got classic characters doing their classic shit, and people are marks for that sort of pablum.

Where do I fall? Again, I really don’t know. Genuinely.

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I want to be excited for the Mortal Kombat movie. Like, a lot. Are they ever going to top Christopher Lambert as Raiden? Of course not. But the casting for this shit seems to be shaping up so far. First, it was The Raid star Joe Taslim as Sub-Zero. And now? Black Mirror actor Ludi Lin as Liu Kang.

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The bad: James Wan is directing the new Mortal Kombat movie. Granted, I haven’t seen his horror flicks. But, man. His Fast & Furious installment and Aquaman? Woof. The good: Joe Taslim has been cast as Sub-Zero. So, I suppose we’ll see.

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James Wan (Furious 7) is producing a new Mortal Kombat movie. This doesn’t really do anything for me. Other than making me want to rewatch the original flick.

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The conceit is simple, yet brilliant. A drunk as hell Scorpion stumbling through classic paintings. It’s the little things folks! The little things.

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Friend of the site — nay! — friend of the Brothers Omega in general Patrick Cooper is undertaking a pretty gnarly task. Said Cooper wants to analyze how “real-life tragedies brought about a paradigm shift in the way films about school violence focused their narratives”, which sounds incredibly delicious in a mind-stretching wanky sort of way.

Coop hopes to translate this son of a bitch into a book, and God love him I hope he does. Hit the jump  a taste his analytical aspirations.

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[source : no cats on the blog via gamovr]

[gag films youtube via all games beta]

This is utterly fucking ridiculous. I love it.