#February2013
Behold! A gravity map of the Moon! You didn’t know you wanted this.
Using this map acquired through subterfuge (web browsing? WTF is that?), I intend on finding the top secret hideout of the Illuminati Trilateral Commission Group. You know, the one on the Moon where they plan all sorts of shit. Putting Prozac into our water. Convincing the mouthbreathers of the world that Big Bang Theory is funny. Canceling Rubicon. The truly nefarious acts. Once I find them, in a comfortable gravity pocket, then I begin building my rocket ship.
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NASA’s next robot moon walker is ATHLETE, promises to elegantly dispose our corpses.
Just build them up! Yes, keep building these beautiful, and elegant robots. Nothing is going to make the robot apocalypse more delicious than momentarily contemplating how we created these versatile killing machines. Ones that now, thanks to NASA, go hang out on the moon afterwards.
The Dude’s High 5s: Dual Roles
The concept of identical twins fascinates me. No, not the Schwarzenegger/DeVito movie from the 80’s. Actually having a duplicate of you walking around, interacting with the world is cool as hell. It’s also great that twins are common enough that they aren’t treated like freaks … that’s reserved for sextuplets and the like. What does my pointless drivel have to do with anything? Well, today’s High 5 deals with actors pulling double duty, playing two or more parts in a movie. When it done right, it’s impressive as hell. Hit the jump for more.
Russia sending probe to the Moon in 2015. Red (Lunar) Dawn!
The Ruskies are sending “a probe” to the Moon in 2015. This can only mean one thing. The Illuminati are considering partnering up with Putin The Tiger Wrangler, in an effort to expedite the secret terraforming of Mars. They will meet him on the Moon to show him the secret launch base. It is obvious. Google it.
VOYAGER 1 has entered the ‘magnetic highway’ as it prepares to leave solar system.
Fare the well, Voyager 1. You’re currently hauling ass through the “magnetic highway”, as you approach the limits of our solar system. Keep in mind our wonderful moments together. Recall, if you will, the time we built your ungrateful ass. Fawn over the concept of being the first object we’ve sent out of our solar system. Dearest regards.
NASA VIDEO: “Evolution Of The Moon” Is Cratery Bliss.
A smidge old, but I kept forgetting to post it. This is for you!, person who hasn’t seen this yet. NASA has released a video detailing the entire evolution of the Moon in almost three minutes. It’s goddamn fantastic.
Volcanoes May Erupt On The Moon Someday? There Goes That F**king Space Colony.
I’d love to see me some goddamn volcanoes on the surface of the Moon. That barren ass surface, long since deprived of any sort of activity. Give it volcanoes! Volcanoes I say. Wiping out space colonies and the headquarters’ of Bond villains alike.
Video: Duncan Jones Does Ad For ‘Virgin Money’. Uh, Okay?
Duncan Jones. Talented dude behind Moon and Source Code. Filling out his resume (er, pockets) with this new ad for Virgin Money. Whatever. It’s sort of swanky, and at least it isn’t that awful Aronofsky Revlon ad.
China Is Sending Astronaut To The Moon. America? We Got Awesome Reality TV!
Now listen. I’m not totally bitter about the United States’ fucking shitty space program. But I’m totally bitter about the United States’ shitty space program. They can afford zillion dollar embassies in sandy places across the Earth, but they can’t send people to the Moon anymore. China? China can.
