Salutations, fellow denizens of the Space-Ship Omega. It is I, your over-caffeinated, mentally-compromised captain! Why, when I’m not hurtling us into the gaping maw of echo-chamber buffoonery, talking about my own dick (and how it pumped, oh did it pump for the Doom Eternal gameplay), and generally embarrassing myself, I like to open up the Open Bar on the weekend! I know, oh do I know. I’m infrequent these days. Apologies all around. Here, here. Take a moist, poorly-wrapped candy from my pocket. Here, here. Take an I.O.U, redeemable for approximately one brutal high-five and chest-bump.

Read the rest of this entry »

I love Henry Cavill. Love him in The Man From Uncle, love him in Mission Impossible: Fallout. I’m fucking ready to love him for a decade-plus as Bond.

Read the rest of this entry »

I need this fucking movie, my dudes. The M:I movies are fucking fun, and plus I just want to swoon watching Henry Cavill kick ass and rock a mustache for two hours.

Read the rest of this entry »

You know what? Justice League was always going to be garbage barrel soup. No mustache ruined it. So, I’m glad that mustachioed Henry Cavill is throwing hands and looking swank in this teaser trailer for Mission: Impossible – Fallout. His mustache is both beautiful and powerful, and I’m here for it.

Read the rest of this entry »