Warren Ellis and Mike Allred are teaming up for a Bacardi graphic novel. Which is something you definitely don’t see coming. Though to be truthful, it is probably folly to plot Warren Ellis’ moves. And I suppose Mike Allred’s too.

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No seriously, that’s what the promo image says. Something rad. And in case you don’t know, mofuckin’ Silver Surfer’s last name is Radd. So like. Yeah. You do the non-literal math.

Hit the jump for the full teaser.

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I’m a liar.  A dirty, rotten scoundrel!  A nerf-herder of the highest proportion.  To find out why, hit the jump and let’s talk this week’s funnybooks!

“What the hell is Señor Hotsauce on about this week?” is the question pursed on everyone’s lips.  Or, it should be.

Simple.

I’ve been seeing my “ex” behind OL’s back.  In fact, I never left my ex.  I know I told you guys we could come here and talk comics in lieu of  going mobile and hitting up your local comic shop, but I just couldn’t stay away.  I love my comic shop, but I dig you guys, too!   So, if you’ll still have me, I’m gonna try and spread that love (and opinions on my favorite books this week) at both joints, and I urge you to do the same!  Sally-fucking-forth, comic nerds!

In fact, do me a favor and give a shout out to your LCS.  They deserve the attention.  Comic Book University in Greenwood, IN is where I hang my pull list.  Good folks who keep the new releases well stocked and the snark to a loving 11.  (Also:  ComiXology has a “virtual store” for participating joints, so that they, too, can get in on the digital-age action.  So make sure you ask your LCS if they’re involved.  It sends some coin their way and is at no additional cost to you, the consumer.)

Enough with the handjobbery!  What’s poppin’ off today?

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There ain’t a multitude of titles hitting the shelves this week, and that’s aiight for two reasons. First, it saves my pittance of an allowance from evaporating with over a week to go until the next paycheck. I am a poor ass academic surviving on tutoring wages, though to be fair, what I am paid for what I do is patently ridiculous. Second, the comic books that are dropping have my tits tweaked. My nips are a deep, hungry red, begging for the funny rags to fiddle them.

This den of perversion and adolescent banality is Buy These F**king Comic Books. Within these walls we shall all share the comic books we’re excited for on a given week. I know my tastes sucks raw farts out of my dead grandmother’s ass, so remind me of the titles I missed. If you don’t know what is arriving on a particular Wednesday, Comic List will help you out.

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Wednesday. The delicious oasis in the middle of the weekly grind. Deliver us from 9-5. Deliver us from Cubicles. Deliver us in the form of weekly sequential artwork. Laser beams. Righteous makers. Providing just enough escape to slog through the last two days. This here is Buy These F**king Comics!, the column where we share the various titles we’re excited for on a given week. This column is powered by audience interaction, so if you see my poor taste and me abstaining from mentioning a title, throw it into the ring. Sharing is caring.

Don’t know what is arriving on shelves? Hit up Comic List. It’s cool. We’ll wait.
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How can you replace Jonathan Hickman on Fantastic Four? You can’t, you turkey! Not even Matt Fraction will fill that void for me, and ya’ll know that is saying something. Matt Fraction. Gorgeous head of hair, lovely sets of stories. Not even he can saddle up to Fantastic Four without me screaming “Not my Dad! Dammit!” What I am very excited for is the sister title FF, which seems to be going in a brilliantly Fractionian direction.

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