#September2012
Microsoft hires CBS EXECUTIVE to make original content for Xbox. This can ONLY BE AWFUL.
Things that none of us using XBL have ever said: man, I wish that the service had original content. Yet another mind-numbing romantic comedy or the sort. Executives, however, are ever blind to what we actually want.
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Microsoft renews ‘KILLER INSTINCT’ trademark? My childhood just came.
The only thing I liked more as an adolescent than staring at Orchid from Killer Instinct’s rack was ripping off an ultra combo with her. Microsoft must know this. They must have received my epistles in the mail, smeared with my blood and promises. For you see, they have renewed the Killer Instinct trademark.
‘BORDERLANDS 2’ golden key dares you to use it. Early. Often.
I’m not really sure if I’m getting a golden key with my copy of Borderlands 2. I ordered the most expensive copy I could find on Amazon, so if it I’m not getting it, I got fucked. The conceit behind the key is pretty awesome, and one that I quietly am hoping I can exploit to my own wonderment.
‘XBOX 720’ technology could turn ROOMS into 3D ENVIRONMENTS. Rock.
Want to turn your room into a 3D environment used for gaming? Fuck you! Didn’t you learn anything from Bradbury’s The Veldt? For those of you unwashed automatons, your dreams could be coming true. Yes, yes. Give into the wave of complacency. Moreso than usual, obviously.
‘METAL GEAR SOLID: GROUND ZEROES’ totally featuring day/night cycles. Plus! HQ pics.
Here’s some jammy jam information and new pictures of Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes, fresh out of the confines of PAX Prime.
‘BORDERLANDS 2’ SEASON PASS ANNOUNCED. $30 for all DLC. I’m thurr.
The Money Making Minds behind Borderlands 2 have announced a season pass for the upcoming title. Such a swag bag will entitle you to all of the game’s DLC for a mere $30. I’m not a computational wizard, but that shit is at least 50% off what you’d have to spend to buy it as it came out. As a dorkus who was going to snag all of the DLC and rub it so, so, so lovingly all over my own shanty towns, I’m excited.
‘METAL GEAR SOLID: GROUND ZEROES’ announced. Sexy Snake is back, yo!
People attending the Metal Gear 25th anniversary event were lucky enough to catch a glimpse at the next MGS jam. The game is titled Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes, and if the teaser footage is any indication, we’re getting sexy Snake back. I’m pumped. Don’t get me wrong, having Snake as an old wizened piece of shit in MGs4 made sense thematically. Emotionally, it was a drag carrying his old fart balls around.
‘BLACK OPS II’ gets two ridiculous editions. Care package and Hardened. Freudian wet dream.
We can’t go a year without a new Call of Duty dropping some over-the-top wallet fucking edition, can we? Hell no. It’s about as American as it gets. November is football, turkey, and expensive killing packages.
‘STREET FIGHTER’ producer Yoshinori Ono helping with the combat in ‘REMEMBER ME’, hell yes.
As if I couldn’t get any more jazzed for Remember Me, the game is getting a titan to consult. Street Fighter producer and uber-legend Yoshinori Ono is helping with the combat system. Yus.
