#January2013
‘DEAD SPACE 3’ features N7 ARMOR and microstransactions. Win some, lose some.
At this point in the dance, continuing to complain about microtransactions in gaming is like me complaining about blood in my stool. It is part and parcel for the area. If I didn’t want blood in my stool, I’d stop soaking my cells in aluminium filings to keep away the Illuminati Mind Control. If I didn’t want to deal with microtransactions, I would stop gaming. Dead Space 3 is the latest culprit in this spreading phenomenon. But don’t cry! It has N7 armor for some of us. Wee!
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Rumor: These are the NEXT XBOX specs. Maybe. Hell if I know.
Yo! Any tech-wizards care to explain these specs to me? They mean almost nothing. In the sense that I know they mean “things”, but I cannot tell you what those “things” translate to.
Watch: First FIVE MINUTES of ‘BIOSHOCK INFINITE.’ Do you dare?
I’m not watching this. However, I’m presenting you with the opportunity. Do you dare to spoil?
Microsoft planning their own ‘PROJECT GLASS’ equivalent. Errbody in AR goggles!
Microsoft is no stranger to scrambling to keep up with Google and Apple. It’s like, their forte at this point. New patents have revealed that the Gang that Says “Oh Yeah!” is dipping their toes in the AR goggles arena. In the future you won’t be cool unless you’re scrolling through tumblr starring at furry jizz shots on your glasses’ HUD while at a football game. It has been foreseen.
XBOX 720: Details spilled in XBOX WORLD. If so, I’m sprung with tech-lust.
I could say I understand the jist of these new details, but I’m just like “oh shit new Xbox details. I don’t understand them with my fat brain, but I know I want it.” Do you understand these details? Are you excited like me? It’s a cucumber in my pants, chill out.
‘GRAND THEFT AUTO V’ promotional swag leaks. Plus! Posters.
The drums of war go boom-boom or something, heralding the approach of the next GTA. These drums bring with them promotional leaks and posters for those who are interested. I assume you are interested.
‘GRAND THEFT AUTO’ officially dropping in SPRING 2013. Wee?
I don’t know. Are we supposed to be enthused by this? Spring is a pretty big season. Like, I’m thinking April. It better be April. Didn’t GTA IV drop in April? I like cookies. Do you?
‘BIOSHOCK INFINITE’ Collector’s Editions revealed. But what if it sucks?
Yeah, I went there. As much as I want to be hyped for the fucking BioShock Infinite Omega Level editions, I can’t get there. People are leaving that game’s development team like it’s a flame-covered donkey ride in the middle of the ocean. What is that, exactly? Fuck you! I don’t know. Anyways, so yeah. Buy these. At your own risk.
‘DEAD SPACE 3’ adds fan-made ‘HUN-E1 BADGER’ to game’s weapons.
This is a fucking treat. Caleb Mendoza is the winner of some sort of Dead Space 3 contest, and the weapon he designed is going to be up in the game. It’s a cute little reference, Caleb. Though, not what I would have chosen. I would have designed some sort of head-splitting cock rocket that Isaac channeled through his suit’s internal energy pack and out of his hog. Directly out of his hog. It would have been magic.
Microsoft used offshore accounts to avoid BILLIONS in taxes. Go figure.
…We can’t actually be surprised at corporations gaming the system, can we? Another day, another corporation being like “nah, I’m not going to help build roads or pay teachers.”
