I want to be jaded about this announcement. Point out that the company that made this game is essentially dead. And then I hear the distinct Killer Instinct announcer’s voice, and my crusty jaded shell is vaporized.

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It’s a confusing fucking start to E3’s flagship channel of coverage, Spike/GTTV.

A Vita world premiere that amounted to an esoteric Japanese handheld bore that looked like a war of icons and numbers?

Rare’s return to the centre stage to show off a new Kinect Sports?

Kill me.

We can all hope this is all just ancillary padding to the main events – the first of which is Microsoft’s XBox Media Briefing at 12:30pm EST – which are primed to be as packed full of goodness as they ever have been.

Today is the day the big hitters – MS, EA, Ubisoft and Sony – speak to the gaming press, the gaming population and the public at large about their plans for entertainment for the next 5-7 years. Make it good kids! The world’s watching.

What are you all excited for this E3?

So, about that new XBOX.

Only a week ago, Microsoft managed to enrage what seemed like the entire gaming sector of the internet with the announcement of the XBOX One. Now, for the non-gamers out there, the window-shopper if you will (otherwise why the fuck would you be reading this?) I should inform you that gamers, on the whole, are a fairly irrational bunch. Whereas most consumers can happily walk away from a product that just isn’t right for them, gamers – as part of their perpetual, existential quest – will desperately search for logic and some sort of conclusion as to why they shall not be purchasing the next new console. If anything, it’s almost as if we’re struggling to comprehend the idea that we’ve been told we can’t have the XBOX One: its list of baffling, anti-consumer ‘features’ being part of an effort to politely tell us to fuck off.

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We now (may) know how the Xbox One’s used games sale mechanism will function.

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Microsoft is engaging in some serious fucking Obi-Wan speak when it comes to whether or not their new console requires an always-on Internet connection. It doesn’t. But does. You don’t have to be connected. But you have to connect everyday. I can’t keep track of this fucking stupidity. And yes I think requiring people to connect daily for a single-player game is fucking dumb.

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What we know about the Xbox One: no backwards compatability. Used games…for a fee. And it ain’t always on.

Hit the jump for deets.

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Ha! Suck it haters! Yeah, I’m talking to you! And you! And you! And Jesus Christ, pretty much every body I’m friends with. A leaked Microsoft memo confirms (confirms?) that the next Xbox will have core features that work offline. Namely, single-player gaming.

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Some people around these parts are going to lube themselves with this news and just start straight-up punishing their pink bits. (Yes Neo, I’m looking at you.) Word has come out that Microsoft isn’t nearly where they want to be in the development of the Durascal 720-Kinect 2 Leviathan, to the tune of six months.

Hit the jump for the cuts, then let me know what you think.

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Sony has been the belle of the ball for the past couple of days, after revealing their PS4. Sure, a lot of the conversation around them is in regards to their lack of a console and all the such. Even with that, Microsoft has to be feeling a bit anxious to launch their own salvo. It word be true, that salvo shall be hitting in April.

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Grand Theft Auto V has been delayed, thereby causing like, more than several people to frown. Oh lord, if you could see these frowns. The people don’t even respect themselves, drooling half-chewed pizza and such all over their t-shirts. Embarrassing. C’mon guys, it is just a game.

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