#April2012
MICROSOFT Is Going to “Further Monetize” Xbox Live This Holiday Season. ADS IN YOUR BRAIN.
I don’t usually admit this, but what Microsoft requires you to pay for on Xbox Live is bullshit. Feel a bit guilty in intimating that. It’s double-bullshit now that they have horrible (albeit expected) ads across the dashboard. If the LinkedIn profile of some Microsoft Money Wizard is correct, we ain’t seen nothing yet.
1 Comment »
‘SKYRIM’ Is Adding ‘KINECT SUPPORT’, Yeah Great. Where’s My F**king Flying Mount.
Back in February I pointed all your goggle-eyes towards a Skyrim Sizzle Reel that displayed what the developers would love to add into the title. One of the joints in the sizzle reel were flying dragon mounts. That was awesome. Another was stupid fucking Kinect support. That was dumb. I am bitter. Can you guess which one is actually getting implemented?
It’s Easy Getting Credit Card Info Off USED XBOX 360s. Great.
The next Xbox isn’t that far off, and you’ve started to plan what you’re going to do with your current 360. You could consider hanging on to it to play your games, or you could consider trading it in for $2.93 and a handshake. However even if you really want that near-$3, it may be better keeping that shit in a closet somewhere.
RUMOR: Stripped Down Xbox Planned For 2013. This Won’t Confuse Anyone.
If it isn’t enough that Microsoft is dropping a new Xbox with sexy new guts next year, they may also be releasing a stripped down version of their console. All next year, close to one another.
Microsoft Blocking PIRATE BAY LINKS In Instant Messages. Damn The Man!
The Pirate Bay is shucking and jiving like a motherfucker lately to stay ahead of the Popo Zao. Them wily sons a bitches are even contemplating taking their servers to the skies with drones. However, next they might need to figure out how to get around Microsoft blocking their links in their instant messages.
Microsoft Working On GAMING HELMET And GLASSES. Dystopian Smile.
The minds of the people have not been fully anesthetized yet, and that’s a problem. We’re getting fat, and wearing our fancy goggles, but we haven’t been fully claimed. Microsoft is working its asses off to up the Docile Consumer quotient, and god help them they may pull it off. Full-on gaming helmet.
Microsoft Seeks Executive Producer For “AAAA” Xbox Title. That’s Pretty Intense
Microsoft wants to UP ITS FUCKING GAME, and we should applaud them for it. They’re looking for the executive producer of FUCKING AAAA game. That’s one more goddamn A than your casual excellent title. Are you in?
Microsoft Is Working On A Universal Translator. Foreign Language Teachers Shitting Themselves.
…Naw!, I’m just kidding. As products of the cultures they reflect, foreign languages will always have worth. Plus French is sexy. However, it would be goddamn glorious if I could have something to translate for me in a pinch. That’s why my boys Microsoft and their Science Daemons have my back.
Microsoft Changing Achievement Policy For XBLA Games. There Was One?
I had no damn idea there was an Achievement Policy when it came to games Xbox Live Arcade games. Intriguing. I assume it was to prevent cheap games from being covertly marketed as achievement farms? (Not that it stopped them)
Peter Molyneux Is Leaving ‘Lionhead Studios’ To Start Transdimensional Gaming Company
Ha! Get it? ‘Cause Molyneux is always making promises and then rescinding them! I’m so (not very) witty.
