Hideo Kojima is many things. Fan of eye-rolling, bloated philosophical cut scenes. Master of the Metal Gear kingdom. Perpetual tease. But now! Now I say dare friends, he is a liar.

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Hideo Kojima is searching for a crew of video gaming peoples to overhaul his iconic Metal Gear Solid using the Fox Engine. Fuck yes. I will take that for a dollar! Or twenty! However many of them there dollars it takes to control Snake on the cinematic masterpiece that kick started a series revival.

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Get it? Because his name is Punished Snake? Oh, blame The Faux Bot. He told me to use it. (I do like it a lot.)

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A lifetime playing video games hasn’t just taught me that I’m a fat, slovenly dork who prefers his own company and staying indoors. Far from it: games have allowed me to come to all sort of bizarre, self-therapy conclusions. See for yourself.

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If you’re not content with owning thirteen different copies of every single Metal Gear Solid title, Konami has something to rub your tits on. It’s yet another collection, this one emerging from their gaping anus and slithering down the throat of the PS3. And having abstained from buying any of the other collections, I may actually buy this one.

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Here’s some jammy jam information and new pictures of Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes, fresh out of the confines of PAX Prime.

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Metal Gear Solid was the game that kick-started the action flick cinematic nonsense pile in the world of video sames, so it is fitting that the pig gets the silver screen treatment. It feels like the franchise has been bandied about for years in regards to a big screen adaptation, but nothing has felt as legitimate as this recent news.

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People attending the Metal Gear 25th anniversary event were lucky enough to catch a glimpse at the next MGS jam. The game is titled Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes, and if the teaser footage is any indication, we’re getting sexy Snake back. I’m pumped. Don’t get me wrong, having Snake as an old wizened piece of shit in MGs4 made sense thematically. Emotionally, it was a drag carrying his old fart balls around.

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Summer is traditionally not a great time for the gaming industry; it’s quiet, a little too quiet…if you know what I mean. It’s fine, though; I understand; those hard working men and women of the gaming industry spend the majority of their time chained to desks in dank dungeon-like offices, dreaming of the world beyond their cubicle. Perhaps I’ve read JPod too many times, but I feel like those kids deserve a break. That said, writing this column sure isn’t easy when the entire industry decides to take a break from making much of anything happen. Still, we shall prevail. Until winter: courage.

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I ain’t never played Metal Gear: Peace Walker, but I’m feeling this cosplay! We got ourselves some Big Boss, some lady with a banana…and uh. That’s it. Can’t complain about the combination though, can you?

Hit the jump for the pics.

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