#April2012
Ultra-Absorbent “NANOSPONGE” Could Be Used To Fix The Worst Oil Spills. Yeah Science!
Ah! The future! Sometimes the future sucks. Like, you know, how we’re still using oil to get our asses around places. Where’s my nuclear-powered jet pack? However, the future can also be pretty swell. Like when it finds ways to clean up all those silly oil spills.
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Dental X-Rays Linked To BRAIN TUMORS. OMFG. Fear ++
As I mow on some jelly beans, I am relishing the fact that I am slowly feeling my teeth rot. It turns out the alternative to my sugar-coated rot-teeth are brain tumors.
These NANOSTARS Kill Cancer Without Ever Entering Cell. Yeah, Science!
Nanomachines! They’re coming to give me telekinesis, immortal life, and an enormous, enormous johnson. Think I’m full of shit, that the nano-revolution isn’t coming? Tell that to the fucking nanostars!
ASPIRIN Stops The Spreading of CANCER. We All Look Surprised.
My girlfriend works in a field where she regularly deals with impressive science wizards who gather to discuss their attempts to stop diseases. My general refrain is “when are these dudes and dudettes going to actually cure something?” I’m a reductive fuck, I know. Now I have some more ammunition. These goon-wizards are performing their little miracles while the obvious cure has been on a shelf at the nearby pharmacy. Aspirin.
Scientists Implant FALSE MEMORIES In Mice. #INCEPTIONHORN
Scientists have implanted false memories in mice. The Inception horn is blowing like a mofuckah!
Scientists Can Now Create Human Eggs From Stem Cells. The Rubicon Is Being Crossed.
Oh lord, we’re tampering with the Seals of the Cosmos. Exceeding our limits. 7-Eleven? Dubstep? Both tempt the Lords of Kobol to smite us. However if those haven’t incurred a Wrath in the Year of the Mayan Oblivion, this may finally do us in. We can now create human eggs from stem cells.
Babies Can Understand What You’re Saying At 6 Months Old. F**k. S**t.
I often fret about the various dangers of me bringing a baby into the world. (There’s a lot of possible positive attributes, but I have no self-esteem.) One of the is my salty language. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I enjoy swearing. A smidge. A new study shows that babies have a grasp of what we’re saying way earlier than I would have expected.
Men Could Soon Blast Their Gonads With Soundwaves to Prevent Pregnancy. Oh Future! ++
There doesn’t appear to be a male birth control pill on the horizon yet, but there may be a way for us to take contraception into our own hands. Or testicles. Or something. Soundwaves. That’s right. Gentlemen, prepare to have your orbs walloped with some high-frequency chatter.
Video: 29 Year-Old Deaf Woman Hears Herself For The First Time. Oh Science. <3
Pretty rad video of a 29 year-old woman hearing herself for the first time after receiving a hearing implant. Progress is real, and sometimes the world shines a bit.
Hit the jump to check it out.
New Technology: Box Keeps A *Heart Beating* Without A Body On Way To A Transplant.
No more fucking ice and prayers and other medieval shit when transporting hearts. Not if ULCA’s heart-lung transport team have their way. They’ve invented a box that keeps the heart pumping outside the body. This is the sort of wizardy science fiction bullshit that makes me so stoked to be alive in the time period I am. That and toilets.
Hit the jump for more details.
