#June2014
E3 2014: New ‘MASS EFFECT’ Trailer: Blah blah show me f**king gameplay
Here’s a “glimpse” at the new Mass Effect. But honestly it’s a whole goddamn pile of platitudes, empty rhetoric, “conceptual artwork” and happy horse shit. Someone give me a goddamn look at the actual game. Like, I’d take ten seconds of actually something over this minute+ of pretty much hot air.
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Boner News: NEXT ‘MASS EFFECT’ IS A SEQUEL. PLUS NEW RACES DETAILED.
Hell yeah. Take this for what it’s worth — I’m taking it to be legit. A fan who was privy to a special meeting at PAX has dropped details regarding the next Mass Effect. And I’m sprung.
BioWare TEASES next ‘MASS EFFECT.’ MY FANBALLS THROB
Mass Effect. I miss you. Mass Effect. I need you. The thought of slipping you into my PlayBox-4One makes my knees quiver. So when those fuckers at BioWare tease your next installment, even barely tease it, I begin to lose my cool.
‘MASS EFFECT 4’ features NO SHEPARD. Will still feel like ‘MASS EFFECT.’
Despite the ending. I miss Mass Effect. I miss the fucking Citadel. I miss biotics. I miss the Universe. A lot. So Jesus Christ BioWare, give me something to get a Mass Erection over.
‘GEARS OF WAR’ PRODUCER leaves company to rock out on ‘MASS EFFECT 4.’
This news dropped last week, but I didn’t cover it. I was probably busy screaming at teenagers to “read their fucking book” and gagging myself with bananas behind the local 7-Eleven. Shut up, it’s therapeutic. Anyways, the senior producer on Gears of War: Judgment has departed Those Epic People to glom onto Mass Effect 4.
BioWare: Don’t number the next ‘MASS EFFECT’ #4. Like, chill man.
Herein, BioWare goes through a wordy explanations as to why we shouldn’t number the next Mass Effect. Some of their explanation is obvious: Shephard’s story is over. Some of it is confusing: if our actions may have affects, and it takes place after, who cares if we call it Mass Effect 4? Hey. Whatever. It doesn’t matter what it is titled, I’m going to be there.
Casey Hudson: Should next ‘MASS EFFECT’ take place BEFORE or AFTER Shepard’s mission?
BioWare’s Lead Satisfied With Himself Director Casey Hudson recently asked if we, the fans, would prefer the next installment of Mass Effect to take place before or after the Shepard Saga. Bro, here’s a fucking option: have some conviction about something. Holy shit. Between polling for Dragon Age 3, changing the ending to Mass Effect 3 (it sucked, but you caving sucks more) and now this, I’m flummoxed. Does the dude have any inspiration? Or is he and the rest of BioWare running around trying to jerk off every fan? I mean, Jesus Christ. I thought the thirteen different play styles they stuffed into ME3 was indicative of them losing their creative way, but this poll is ridiculous to me. Make an excellent piece of software, and leave it to us monkey-minded proles to decide if we like it. Craft a narrative that you find engaging, and then leave it up to us to either agree or disagree with your vision.
