#July2011
BioWare Reveals New ‘Mass Effect 3’ Character, James Vega. Super BroDude Woah.
Mass James Vega, a new character to the Mass Effect franchise. Vega is known around the galactic community for excessive amounts of hair product, the smell of whiskey and pussy on his breath, and his overall asstastic character design. BioWare should have just named him “Gears of War Guy” or my preferred name “Super BroDude”.
Hit the jump for the entire image.
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Press Start!: Fat Boys and Female Gamers.
We’ve got that post-E3 swerve going on, don’t we? This is Press Start!, the weekly gaming column. Being broadcasted out of my brainstem into a document, onto the satellite-netter-webs conduits for your unpleasant consumption.
What caught your eyes in the world of gaming this week? I am a free-flowing cavalcade of non-sense. My interests may not reflect your own. Hit me with your own list or findings or nuggets of glorious gleaming gaming developments.
Rumor: ‘Mass Effect 3’ Getting Four-Player Co-Op Mode. Frak Yeah!
The deluge of Mass Effect 3 splooge continues to wash over my welcoming body today. There’s a good chance that Mass Effect 3 is going to get some substantial co-op missions. Boom!
FemShep To Be On ‘Mass Effect 3’ CE Box Art, Get Her Own Trailer. Win.
I play as a female Shepard in the Mass Effect games. I play as females in almost any game. I enjoy my protagonists to be powerful, assertive ladies. So, seeing only the regular male Shepard bombing around trailers bums me out. I imagine it bums out female gamers even more. Our sadness has been noticed, corrections are being taken.
Press Start!: It’s E3. Gimmicky Controllers, TVs, and Franchises.
Press Start!, the week of E3. There was a time when E3 was a wondrous occasion. Those days are gone now, like leaves from a tree. With the advent of the Internet, everything is known weeks prior. Secrets exposed, dissected. Shit is passé before it’s even revealed. Take for example Nintendo’s Wii U. While I’ll admit that seeing any new console in motion gets me up, it would have truly blown my asshole out if they could have kept the entirety of it secret until the conference.
With that in mind, let us not spend the entirety of our fleeting brain-focus-capacities on regurgitating the quasi-reveals and appreciable moments of the Big Three at the show. Let us instead turn our ADD-addled brains towards shooting the shit about the show. Deal? Press Start!’s usual conceit is pressed pause in lieu of some geek spit.
Two ‘Mass Effect 3’ E3 Trailers Are Right Here. Biotic Tingling Everywhere.
Goodness gracious, I am not worthy. Here’s two E3 trailers for Mass Effect 3, and they have me positively losing my cool. There’s a ‘found footage’ one of the Reapers arriving, and another one that’s straight-up gameplay porn.
Hit the jump for the trailers.
‘Mass Effect 3’ Gets A Release Date, I Fist Pump.
Mass Effect 3 may have gotten delayed out of the 2011 release schedule, but at least I now have a date. A date that I absolutely have to live until.
Recap: The Microsoft E3 Conference In One Post.
Let’s recap the entire Microsoft Xbox conference in one post. A potpourri of the news dropped in one tight package. Or in other words: like two cool games and fourteen Kinect-related things I don’t give a fuck about.
‘Mass Effect 3’ To Be “Better With Kinect.” Crap Pies.
NeoGaf user Lakitu found Mass Effect 3 artwork on the EA store, and the poor box cover was singed deep down into its soul with a phrase that makes me want to vomit. “Better with Kinect Sensor.”
No!
No, no, no!
Mass Effect 3 To Allow For Same-Sex Relationships. About Time.
Wait, wait, wait! Stop the presses. So a franchise that allows for the player to design their own character and make essentially sculpt the fate of a galaxy is going to allow us to choose a sexual orientation? About fucking time.
