#October2014
Marvel reveals new ‘Secret Wars’ by Hickman and Ribic dropping in 2015.
How do you get me to give a fuck about a Marvel event? Especially a seemingly refried edition of a previous event? You pop Jonathan “Big Daddy Philosophy Kane” Hickman and Esad “Everybody’s Mouths Are Open” Ribic on the fucker. Seriously, they’re two of my faves.
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Marvel is reprinting Dark Horse’s ‘Star Wars’ comics beginning April 2015
Bummed out about Disney ripping the Star Wars comics license out of the hands of Dark Horse? Well. Yeah, I don’t see how this news will make it any better. Not only has Marvel (perhaps understandably) been given the Star Wars license, but they will also be reprinting the older Dark Horse comics. Starting next April! Which I suppose also makes sense? Man, I wish I *got* things.
FALCON becoming CAPTAIN AMERICA in ‘ALL-NEW CAPTAIN AMERICA’
Ohhh man. You can hear the fanboys pulling their pubes out in hatred. Gnashing their teeth, particles of enamel and specks of drool hitting their keyboard as they type in hate. A female Thor? And now a black Captain America? Gracious.
Marvel Teases A NEW CAPTAIN AMERICA. I Got $5 On Foggy
This is what happens when you read only like five Marvel comic books like me. You have no idea that there is even the necessity for a new Captain America, because you don’t know that Steve Rogers has lost his Super Soldier Serum. People are saying it may be Falcon. FWIW THOUGH? Bucky Barnes and his Robot Arm are The Shield’s OTP.
Remender’s penning Marvel’s “AXIS” of Evil in October
I clearly need to be paying more attention to Rick Remender’s run on Uncanny Avengers. Through no fault of his own, I’ve sort of wavered in and out of his stories. Picking them up when I remember, forgetting them most of the time like a fucking dumb ass I mean — reading the announcement of the upcoming Axis event in October was out of control. Red Skull has the telepathy of Professor X? And the powers of Onslaught? Sign me up.
Skottie Young helming NEW ‘ROCKET RACCOON’ series.
Deep, critical thinking: Skottie Young rules. Rocket Raccoon rules. Combining them together in an orgy of rabid violence and gorgeous artwork is the definition of ruling.
Hit the jump for some deets and look at the full artwork.
Marvel announces POST-CATACLYSM ‘ULTIMATE’ line-up. MAKE MINE MORALES.
Fuck yeah! If the Ultimate universe lives, I’m glad this is the form its taking. Everyone and their dumb brother seems ruined by Galactus, leaving Miles Morales to pretty much run the fucking show. I love it. I love it!
Groan: Halle Berry as Storm in ‘X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST.’
Now, why am I dissing on this picture of Halle Berry as Storm, when I normally discourage reading too much into out-of-context pictures? ‘Cause I’m a troll who hates this movie before having even seen it.
At least I’m being upfront.
NEIL GAIMAN returning to Marvel, bringing ANGELA with him.
I didn’t see this one coming. I suppose that isn’t surprising, since I cannot see much through the womb of caffeine and masturbating that I exist within. Neil Gaiman is returning to Marvel, and the good man is bringing Angela with him. Yes, that Angela. The one he co-created with Todd McExpensiveBaseBalls way back in the day.
JOE MADUREIRA returning to Marvel in June. I can’t muster a f**k.
Joey Mad, childhood icon of mine, is returning to Marvel in June. This should be something resembling news to me. However, I can’t bring myself to even give a fuck on a nostalgic level. I just can’t. How about you children of the 1990s. Does this tickle your goods? I imagine just his name will be enough to drag many back onto the shelves. Not me though. No. I can’t.
