#February2014
The MARS ROVER photographed from space. Red Planet Perspective++
The Big Eye in the Sky ain’t limited to spying on homeless dudes in the streets, our dongs in our houses, and the wild packs of Werewolves that dominate the suburbs on weekends. No ma’am! It’s also got its eye on the Mars Opportunity Rover, making sure it doesn’t discover the secret Illuminati base on Mars. Scary, right? But there’s a bonus! We get wild pictures like this.
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SPACE SWOON: Here’s a look at EARTH from MARS.
Stunning picture of Earth from Mars right up in here. Perspective++, brolos. Ain’t nothing better than being reminded that we’re just a little cute irrelevant speck in the cosmic dust. If we used that revelation to strive for something bigger, of course. Oh, me? I’m going to slap Double Gulps from 7-Eleven all day and look at porn. I’m no leader! You, go, start the revolution. Or pass the Fritos, I don’t care.
Hit the jump for the images.
Mars’ red face goes gorgeous blue after asteroid rocks it
Not everything is Ray Bradbury and Mars Attacks up on the surface of the Red Planet. (What does that mean? Nothing. Just making up nonsense.) An asteroid struck the face of Ares between 2010 and 2012, leaving Mars feeling a little blue.
Hit the jump for the image and some deets.
Today NASA launches MAVEN, their latest MARS MISSION.
NASA is launching another mission to Mars. Going down today. The latest little scientific jaunt (is there any other kind at this point? Blessed be Uncle Ray’s heart — no) is aimed at figuring out just where the fuck Mars’ water went.
NASA’S CURIOSITY has FOUND F**KING WATER IN MARS’ SOIL
Yeah, boiii! Pull out your space-genitals of choice and slap them lightly to this news. NASA’s Curiosity Rover has found water (molecules) in the soil on Mars. Dope as fuck.
NASA’S CURIOSITY ROVER is now DRIVING ITSELF ON MARS. Skynet cackles.
Oh yeah this is totally cool. To-ta-lly. That little fucking robot on Mars is no longer doing our bidding, finally switching over to its autonomous navigation. This is all cute and shit until it builds its first colony of nanobot assassins.
UK TEAM unveils PRETTY FRIGGIN’ DETAILED PLAN to send HUMANS TO MARS
Perhaps fittingly, the Imperial College of London has unveiled a detailed-as-fuck plan to send humans to Mars.
(THERE WAS) DRINKABLE WATER ON MARS according to Opportunity
Imagine sucking down a cold glass of Martian water? Well, we can do it. What’s needed for this task? Uh, well it’s a bit complicated. A time-travelling spaceship, stocked with a crew and such. Me? I’m just there to drink the water.
MARS got a BANANAS Northern Polar Ice Cap.
Woah! What a dumb first line. Whatever. Double woah! Take a look at Mars’ northern polar ice cap. There are some seriously impressive natural forces taking place in this picture. Forces so majestic in scope that I cannot even begin to understand them. I’m just here for the free chicken and pictures!
TRAVELLING TO MARS would GODDAMN KILL US with RADIATION right now.
Jesus Christ, ain’t this a downer. With current technology, the amount of radiation our asses would absorb on the way to Mars would prove pretty fucking terminal. Don’t let that shit get you down though! Just another hurdle to cross.
