I just ate an entire Domino’s deep dish pizza. I’m covered in crumbs. My asshole is already writhing in hate, preparing to shotgun out waste across a porcelain tomb. My girlfriend and I aren’t seeing eye to eye on serious life issues. My bank account shrinks with the same rapidity my doughy ass’d waist expands. If this isn’t the perfect time to escape through some funnies, I don’t know when will be. Comic books, please deliver me from mortality, ideological stances, caloric repercussions, dependence on foreign oil, the problematic desire to respect women’s issues and also rub seed on their butts, and other complicated things. Just fucking do it, okay?

This is Buy These Fucking Comics, the column where we chat about what you’re procuring this week in the world of sequential art and female objectification. If I don’t drop something you dig, for the love of Thanatos speak up. That’s the entire point of this fucking enterprise.

Don’t know what’s coming out? Check right hurr.

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At C2E2, Mark Waid has laid out the deets on his upcoming digital comics venture. It’s called Thrillbent, and its dropping the cloak covering its naughties this May 1.

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Mark Waid is beginning to win me over. I’ve opined that I can find the chap both insightful and infuriating, but I’m particularly enamored with his pulling back of the veil and exposing the insanity of trying to make the ducets through print comics.

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Do you know how many comic books I read last week? One. I read the newest issue of Prophet  and that was that. It was a gloriously hypnotic trek through a devastated post-apocalyptic Hemingway novel, and after that I shut my brain down for the week. I’ve been trying to slice the fatty material out of my comic diet. Much like my life I’m sure I’ll continue to binge, but the ideal is to strip down the pull-list into things I want to read. Not things I want to read, feel implored to read, and have a passing interest in at the cost of my wallet.

With that in mind, this is Comics We’re Buying This Fine Week. The column where we sit cross-legged in a circle, pantless of course, and share what we’re digging on in the funny book universe on a given Wednesday. I’ll go first. You follow me into the closet and count to 20. It’s going to be awesome.

Not sure what is coming out? Hit up ComicList.

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This is pretty fantastic. Mark Waid is throwing his chips into the digital comics game, and in order to fund this venture into the Unknown he is selling off his entire comic book collection. Say what you will about his writing (his Daredevil  is currently the truth), such a bold move has to be applauded

Hit the jump for the lowdown.

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At SXSW, Marvel unveiled its “ReEvolution”  initiative. Brief aside: who the fuck is naming things at Marvel right now? They all sound like B-SIDES of all the already awful  Final Fantasy descriptors. Anyways. Moving along. The most striking part of this new movement is the announcement of a digital-only  line of comics. Welcome to the future?

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Variant Covers.   Column giving the rundown of the week’s comic releases. Trite, super-personal and irreverent. Share your finds, friends.

I’ve been sick lately. For the past five days my life has consisted of scraping the existential paste out of bed, nodding somewhat coherently as I teach, and napping. Fitful, sweaty naps. The sort of naps that could fill a Gatorade bottle and whose flopping fiction could power a small town.

Daredevil is getting relaunched this June with a #1 issue, and the creative team is going to be Mark Waid, with Paolo Rivera and Marcos Maritn as the rotating artists.

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