All team-up everything! Good guys! Villains! If your comic book movie doesn’t have more than one superhero in it, it doesn’t fucking matter. That’s a cosmic fact. Amazing Spider-Garfield 2 knows this.

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You know what always, always, always sounds dorky to me? Rhyming comic book dialogue. I’m totally (not) glad that we have Electro rhyming about how powerful he is or some shit in this teaser. Blegh. If I’m being honest though, I still expect to be entertained by this flick. I enjoyed the first Webb/Garfield/Stone-powered film, and I imagine this one can’t be any worse (famous last words?).

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Let’s not kill ourselves trying to figure out who Sarah Gadon is going to be playing in the Amazing Spider-Man movies. Days after the news that Mary Jane was cut from the second movie and was being recast, we get this news regarding Gadon. Hmm. Hmm! Let us all bite down on our bubble pipes. And go hmm.

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…My preferred title for this post was “Rhino what Paul Giamatti looks like in Amazing Spider-Man 2‘, but I was not brave enough to pull off such nonsense. Perchance another time. But oh yeah, here are a bunch of pictures of Paul Giamatti looking dumb as shit in whatever he is wearing that will indubitably be supplanted by CG soon enough.

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Felicity Jones is a very pretty lady. Latex is like, tots my favorite fetish. Should Marc Webb bring Miss Jones and latex together in the form of Black Cat, he can have my first child. Wait, the Mrs. is saying that isn’t cool. He can have his choice of sock from my collection. They all contain many of my children.

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I keep forgetting that Django is going to be starring as the villain in Amazing Spider-Man 2. Mr. Foxx himself recently sat down and elaborated all about the Electro guy he is going to be playing, taking us fanboys and fangirls into the motivations behind the, you know, pretty lame supervillain.

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It’s comic book movie adaptation day! There’s a fucking deluge of news, and the latest is centered around who is going to play Harry Osborn in Amazing Spider-Man 2. The role will be filled with Dane DeHaan, who was excellently creepy in Chronicle.

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Four new dudes have entered the arena! Which one of these striking young lads will don the uh, Green Mantle and run around menacing people with pumpkins? Pumpkins! Oh, dated superheroes. You got a favorite? Let me know.

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Harry Osborn up in the house! I’m really intrigued with where they’re going in this second Amazing Garfield flick. They’ve up and dropped the news that Emma Stacy is sloughing her mortal coil, but how literal are they keeping the rest of the story? Eh!? Who knows. What I do know is that I want Dane DeHaan as Harry.

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Well screw me sideways, I didn’t see this coming. Jamie Foxx. Dope actor. Electro. Shitty villain. I am a bit torn. What do you folks think?

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