I know this news article should be about how the people behind Captain America: Unthaw Bucky and Let Him Fuck Stuff Up are coming close to casting the female lead. I know it. On an intellectual level. But all I want to do is talk about how excited I am that I’m going to get to rub at my jeans while Black Widow prances across the screen during the flick. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m not.

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