#April2021
‘Indiana Jones 5’ Casts Mads Mikkelsen. Dude Gotta Be The Baddie, Right?
Here’s the first official Indiana Jones 5 news that has tweaked my nipples. In a rotating, erotic manner. The movie has cast Mads Mikkelsen in an undisclosed role. Hey now! Fuck yeah, now! But if he ain’t the villain, they’ve obviously fucked up.
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‘Polar’ Trailer: Mads Mikkelsen goes motherfucking John Wick in this Netflix movie
Mads Mikkelsen going John Wick is a Very Good Idea. I fuck with this trailer 100% and look forward to a bit of the old ultra-violence.
Mads Mikkelsen would be willing to play Doctor Doom in his upcoming solo movie so Fox let’s get this shit done
The Doctor Doom movie was guaranteed my interest when it turned out that Noah Hawley would be developing it. But, man. Now? Can you imagine if Mads Mikkelsen actually got the role? I’m sort of assuming it won’t happen. But, man.
‘Death Stranding’ Trailer: Del Toro and Mikkelsen Go Full Kojima
Hideo Kojima dropped a new trailer tonight for his next game, Death Stranding. It uh, makes very little sense, and features tentacles, Guillermo del Toro, and Mads Mikkelsen. I’m fucking pumped.
‘Rogue One: A Star Wars Story’ International Trailer: Now With Key Plot Point Included!
Rogue One‘s International trailer confirms a key plot point that’s been been bandied about in other forms already. Specifically, it pertains to the character that Mads Mikkelsen shall be playing. If you watch it, don’t say I didn’t warn you!
‘Doctor Strange’ starts production; main cast has been confirmed
Doctor Strange is officially underway! With the official production beginning, Marvel has released a confirmation of the main cast. Quite the cast, man.
Mads Mikkelsen in talks for ‘Doctor Strange’ villain role
Fuck, man. I’ll take some Mads Mikkelsen in my MCU like a motherfucker.
‘Star Wars: Rogue One’ releases official photo, confirms Mads Mikkelsen, Alan Tudyk, rest of cast
Man. Look at this fucking picture, yo. Gritty. Grimy. Dirty. Failed Future. A pack of filthy, degenerate bastards, and they’re the Rebellion’s best shot. Love it. If this picture is an accurate portrayal of what Gareth Edwards is going for, I’m picking up everything that he is putting down. And goddamn, the fucking cast! Sign me up.
MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE: HOT DOGS-RELATED DEATHS
Hello friends and family aboard the Spaceship Omega. As we hail from the Empire Proper, the lot of us shall be celebrating the Fourth of July. You’re not from this Solar System? Confused as to how we rock our celebrations around these parts? It’s simple! All you have to do to join us is fill yourselves with chemical-soaked animal flesh. In-between teeth gnashing the bits, swallow healthy amounts of Amber Liquids. These suds shall assuage the indigestion. Not only that, but they shall elevate you to another plane. Careful, though. Should you consume too much Amber Liquid and Animal Flesh, you may theoretically pass out in the kiddie pool. With your pants down. Theoretically, you’ll wake up lobster pink. The children will notice your lack of pants, the parents will notice the vomit baked into your beard.
So even though it isn’t in league with the celebration, I also caution temperance.
What are you doing to do the rest of the week? Glad you asked. Here is Monday Morning Commute, the column where us populators of the OL-Satellite share what we are up to during a given seven-day stretch.
‘VALHALLA RISING’ may get TOKYO-BASED SEQUEL. Time Travelling Vikings, yo!
File this under: don’t question it, just love it. Nicolas Winding Refn wants to take his Viking Warrior flick (that in full disclosure I haven’t seen but want to and it’s streaming on Netflix why don’t I just get off my lazy ass Jesus Christ…) and flip it a sequel. In Tokyo. In the Future. Somehow.
