Welcome to Press Start! You know the drill: I regurgitate stories that I hope you haven’t already read whilst I simultaneously resist the urge to talk about my junk and flog myself for being such a hack. Join me. Oh, it’s about video games, I mentioned that, right?

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The culturalpocalypse is coming. Have you heard of the Madden Curse? If you’re one of the three people who hasn’t, it goes like this. If you’re put on the cover of Madden – the preferred video game of millions and millions of people – you’re fucked. Every single person who adorns the cover generally suffers malaise and awfulness that season. It’s become such a part of my generation’s collective conscious that the inevitable has happened:

EA is looking to exploit it.

In the form of a movie.

The project is being spearheaded by EA Entertainment VP Pat O’Brien, and the storyline seems simply riveting. This wonderful high-concept certain-abortion would “follow a former Madden video game champion who is forced out of retirement just as he finds himself on the corner of the game’s cover.” Whatever will he do then! It’s the sort of insane scenario that Max Barry riffs on in his novel Syrup, which if you haven’t checked it, you should. Shameless whoring of a favorite book of mine. Get some.

The culturalpocalypse? It’s sort of fun.