When Mark Millar isn’t busy ripping off other people’s ideas with a lazy “What If?” twist, he’s usually being problematic in his portrayal of African Americans. When he’s not being problematic in his portrayal of African Americans these days, he’s usually doing something (at the very least) thinly veiled in misogyny. Usually he’s doing all three at the same time within a story’s run. So, you know, what could go wrong with Millar making Kick-Ass‘ new protagonist a black female?! Maybe, maybe the fact that Millar is just going to write the first issue of this new run is portentous of something actually promising. I’m not holding my breath, though.

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That talented son of a bitch Chiwetel Ejiofor may be taking his talents to the World of Bond. Which is fine by me. Fuck, any film that casts the dude is taking a step in the right direction. But having him throw down with Jimmy B is a particular shade of delicious for this spy-loving fanboy over here.

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[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

It seems as though a number of my favorite creators enjoy starting projects, getting me super-pumped about them, and then relegating them to the status of indefinite hiatus/who fucking knows?/cancelled. Do I ever expect to see the conclusion to Frank Miller and Jim Lee’s All-Star Batman and Robin? Short answer — no. Does it chap my ass that Warren Ellis’ Doktor Sleepless hasn’t been on a regular schedule for over a year? Let’s just say I’ve been wearing a lot of loose-fitting undies.

Fortunately, one of the guys on whom I can rely to finish his projects also happens to be one of my favorites. While the haters love to hold him in contempt (complaining that all his books are essentially the comics equivalent of popcorn-flicks), I cannot sing enough praises for the mighty Mark Millar. In the last few years, this guy has successfully completed some of the most entertaining miniseries and arcs. An incomplete and poorly arranged list:

Wolverine: Old Man Logan

Marvel 1985

Ultimates

Ultimates 2

Ultimate Avengers

Civil War

Wanted

When it comes to cartoon-magazines about superheroes, Millar’s consistency and excellence is absolutely unrivaled. The guy is a fucking titan of the industry, a writer whose own fandom is translated into passion and energy on the page. He might not be the mind-juggernaut that is Grant Morrison or a creator-of-continuity like Geoff Johns, but Mark Millar is a fucking boss.

So it is with the utmost pleasure that I present this edition of OL’s comic pick-of-week:

Kick-Ass #8

For any of you jerkies who’ve been out of the funny-book game since 2008, Kick-Ass is an exploration of what would happen if a comic book fanboy tried to become a superhero in the real world. Of course, shit goes wacky and all sorts of wannabes & imposters start showing up. Without giving too much away, I’ll tell you this — the first issue ends with protagonist Dave Lizewski getting the shit beat out of him during his first foray into the business of superheroism. Essentially, the combined effort of Millar and legendary artist John Romita Jr., the series is actually marked by its vulgarity, humor, and ultra-violent action scenes. In the best way possible.

Seven issues later and we’ve finally arrived at the end of the first arc. Now complete, I have no reservation in saying that this initial chapter of the Kick-Ass saga unrelentingly fires on all cylinders. Just as the book has done during its entire run, issue eight keeps the reader alternating between a state of jaw-dropping shock and belly-clutchin’ guffawing. We see the climatic showdown between the newly aligned Hit-Girl/Kick-Ass and the mobsters who’ve been hunting them. And what a climax it is.

Again, I really don’t want to spoil this issue but I will offer a look at some of its key ingredients:

Flamethrower. Castration. Cocaine. JRJR splash page. Child endangerment. Ben Grimm reference. Meat cleaver.

Trust me, it’s sick.

If the Kick-Ass movie is even half-faithful to this first arc (and word around the `net is that it’s full-faithful), we’re all in for a treat. Just make sure to read the comic first.

Because Comics is King.

I’m not sure there’s much middle ground for people regarding the movie adaptation of Mark Millar’s ridiculous, bloody, entertaining comic book Kick-Ass. As a fan of the comic, and ultraviolence in general, I’m beyond stoked that they’re keeping this movie faithful as fuck to the comic book. In a recently released Red Band trailer featuring Hit-Girl, they show just how committed they are to the source material. Twelve year-old Hit-Girl slices the shit out of thugs, drops the word “Cunt” and throws blood everywhere.

Either you’re a sicko like me, and you’re going to love this absurd approach to what heroes would look like in the real world, or you’re shocked, offended, and possibly vomiting. Check out the clip below.

The above picture is Nicholas Cage looking like a douchebag in a superhero costume. But that’s okay. Because unlike if he starred as Clark Kent in Superman, the dude is supposed to look absurd in his current role. Dudebro is starring as Big Daddy in the film version of Mark Millar’s Kick-Ass.

I love the shit out of Kick-Ass, even if it’s just Millar riffing once again on the mundanity of suburban life, and how all of us geeks yearn for being able to fly around and shoot shit out of our asses, and eyes and cocks and stuff. And in the forthcoming clip, we get to see how Big Daddy trains his daughter to be a superhero.

How?

He teaches her how to take a bullet, by shooting her in the chest. It’s as amazing and hilarious as it sounds. Check it out after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Are you fools ready to Fuck Crime! next April? I hope so! Because the movie adaptation of the comic book Kick-Ass is spilling into theaters on April 16, 2010. I have to say, I’m one of the few people I know that isn’t totally jizzing over the comic book. It’s yet another Mark Millar riff on SUPERHEROES IN THE REAL WORLD, ala Wanted, Marvel 1985, et cetera, et cetera. And it seems to rely on hyperviolence and shock value. I should probably admit after stating that though, that Mark Millar is one of my favorite comic book writers. And he’s scribed countless stories I’ve adored. Maybe I’m just burnt out on ultraviolence. It’s not his fault. I love you Mark! It’s just that every time I read an issue, I get the feeling there’s the “Are you shocked?! Are you offended? Eh! EH?!”

No, I’m not. I jerk off to scat porn. A little girl saying the word “Cunt” doesn’t blow me away anymore.

That said, I couldn’t help but be amazed by the clips that leaked from San Diego Comic Con this year. They’re pretty god damn faithful. Deep down inside I’m sweating the movie, and I have the funny feeling it’s going to blow my god damn socks off. As well, the fact that the movie was independently funded reeks of awesomeness and I love the fact that they just shot the fucking movie they wanted, and sold it afterwards. I think I may be fawning. Fuck. Shit.

I’m conflicted.

Lay off me, I’m bipolar.