Shh. Can you hear that? It’s subsonic vibrations vomiting down the Omnipresent Now, hinting at the reality that fucking Edgar Wright is doing an Ant-Man movie. In case you forgot. ‘Cause it’s easy to let things slip out of our meat-skulls with the relentless pop culture news cycle. But word, Ant-Man is coming folks, and here is how the movie that ain’t arrived yet influenced The Avengers.

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HEY FRIENDS. I was fucking busy today! So I didn’t get around to commenting on (to myself, and like that one weird guy in the corner with the gnarly erection and killer Reebok Pumps) the various news and notes from the around the internet in the past 24 hours. Instead of shuddering in a fluid-covered shell of inadequacy over my failure, I figure’d I would round these links up in one tight package.

After the jump! Pre-Sequels, Sequels to Classics, More Dumb Comic Book Movie News, and More!

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This is some Jonathan Hickman levels of plotting ahead, right here. Marvel Studios’ Kevin Feige (his actual title is Chief Dude of Making Disney Comic Book Billions) recently commented that Marvel has planned seriously ahead for their movie universe. Like, fourteen years ahead. Either Marvel is meticulous as fuck, Feige is just talking shit, or a little of both.

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Yo. Fuck Batman Vs. Superman. In 2016 we’re finally getting Marvel vs. DC. A couple of days ago, Kevin Feige had chuckled. Hocked up what sounded like phlegm, and spit out what look like a nail. He had been asked if Marvel was going to movie their at the time Unnamed Movie away from its May 6, 2016 date. You see, that’s the day Batman vs. Superman was dropping. Not only is Marvel not moving their moving, they’re dropping a fucking hammer that day (or is it a shield?).

I love this.

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Well then. Broken news has broken in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Looks like Paul Rudd is going to be playing the more comedic, younger Ant-Man. With Michael Douglas playing an older Hank Pym.

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Confused? Not sure how the honey-suckled teats of Guardians of the Galaxy are going to fit into the warm maw of Marvel’s mouth? Kevin Feige got you, friends. He got you.

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Goddamn! Guardians of the Galaxy is going to take place in space. Did you know that? Seems pretty obvious. Still, it strikes me as a bit of a risk. Expensive-ass space movie starring characters pretty much no one knows? Marvel is rolling their nuts around in the honey when it comes to Guardians of the Galaxy. The only question is whether they shall be glazed in glory, or if fire ants will latch onto their financial risk. Oh yeah! And did you know that Captain America 2: LOL You Didn’t Know Bucky Lives? is going to be a political thriller?

All that and more, within!

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I wonder what sort of chuckle heads groaned and gnashed their teeth to prompt these new assurances about Iron Man 3‘s tone. Marvel Movie Czar Kevin Feige has come out and assured everyone that the movie is totally not serious. As though a serious movie would have been the equivalent of the studio bagging a fart and making us fans drink it deep. So don’t sweat, folks. This movie will be replete with the same haha-funny-time as the first two movies. Oh yeah! And if that information doesn’t give you a tingle, there is a new picture of Iron Patriot after the jump.

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Cyeah! With the first trailer dropping tomorrow, there hath been unleashed a torrent of Iron Man 3 photos. You want these inside you. Trust me. They make your bum glow. Also! Some Kevin Feige deets on what’s going on in the pictures.

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Ant-Man! So real it has its own set of test footage. You pumped? Jacked? Pumped and jacked?

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