Not much to say here. Just some utterly gorgeous BioShock Infinite cosplay. Hit the jump, hold your breath.

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Ken Levine is one of the visionaries working in video games right now. Say what you want about the ideologies that propel these visions, the dude has got them. So when he talks, I pay attention. PlayStation’s blog got the good sir to open up about BioShock: Infinite, fucking with expectations, the PS Move and more.

Hit the jump for the video.

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Confession: I cannot watch this. The entire BioShock Infinite E3 demo. Can’t watch. If I do, it’ll send me into a tizzy of half-words, much-vomit, and sprints around the neighborhood. I’m excitable. I need this game. My body cannot handle such a tither. I bring it to you though, should you be interested and capable of absorbing so much rock knowing the game is still a turn of the calendar away.

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This week’s edition of EGMi has the protagonist of BioShock Infinite on its glorious cover. Not only that, but the gorgeous artwork pays homage to one of the most classic Uncanny X-Men covers. Ever. None other than Uncanny X-Men #141, or the X-Men comic that all of us mutant-fellaters point to as a high-water mark for the series.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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The BioShock Infinite demo from E3 made many a journalist and blogger cream their pantaloons. The game cleaned up with 35 ‘Game of the Show’ awards. I dream of playing that demo, my fat little fingers giggling as I once again get my Levine-gland stroked. Until then, I’ll have to sate myself with the fact that on July 7, GTTV on Spike is running a 30 minute presentation of that.

Just to tease the tip-lips, they’ve released a 2 minute section of it.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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I absolutely love Chez-Its. Nothing relaxes me more than popping down on the toilet mashing a handful of Chez-Its into my gullet while checking my Tumblr on my iPhone. One of the other things I absolutely love is the use of adverbs. Hemingway fucking hates me. On top of those two pure, unadulterated loves of mine is my unremitting love for video games.

That’s why I write this column. Press Start!, the post where I run down five things that happened in the world of video games this week. I’m covered in Chez-It crumbs and ready to vomit verbose into your eye-mind-mouths.

Let’s party, guys!

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Just quit, developers. Just do it. Oh, all right. Don’t quit. At the very least, know that you can never blow my asshole out quit like Ken Levine and his games. In a new developer diary, Levine explains how Elizabeth can harness tears in reality to bring in objects from other universes.

Good lord.

Stop reading my vomit, hit the jump and watch.

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Oh boy. The trailer for BioShock Infinite just karate-chopped every other reveal trailer I’ve seen in the neck. It may be a fatal chop. The medics are looking over the victims now. The best part? It’s purely gorgeous gameplay, which is executed with a fluidity and rapidity that wasn’t there in the original. We’ll get all of this, and what is assuredly a storyline built to milk the philosophical glands of all us thinking geeks.

Hit the jump for the trailer.

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When diversions are king, video games shall be amongst those running the pack. Making sure that everyone has the appropriate tattoos. Knowing the gang symbols. The terminology. Ruling the roost, if you will. This is Press Start!, the column where I spout off five things that happened in the world of gaming in a given week. My lists are dumb. Like yours, they are rife with personal preference, ideological tendencies, and since it’s me – juvenile bullshit.

I encourage all aboard to share their own musings.

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#1: Apple App Store Gets App That ‘Cures Homosexuality’, For Like A Second.
God damn, I have to give it to Apple. I knew from the multifarious apps found on Apple’s store were fucking powerful. I knew there were a lot of apps that could do a lot of things. Find a yummy restaurant for my belly! Find movie tickets. Play Angry Birds! Read a book! However, I wasn’t aware there was an app that could cure my raging hard-on for Chris Hemsworth in chainmail.

That’s where  Exodus International steps in! They released an app that claimed to cure gayness. It was a bit of an odd mood, since the fascist pigs at Apple have pulled some less polarizing applications. Wasn’t there one that cost like a zillion dollars? The Douche App? It did nothing aside from signify you could spend a lot of money?

Anyways, a day and one enormous 152,433 online signature later, they pulled the son of a bitch.

Go figure.

I’m actually okay with the existence of the app, if it wasn’t such an odd choice in lieu of what they have pulled. I am of the opinion that if a bunch of closed-minded assholes rubbing their genitals against a withering old tome want to try and make some money off their own ignorance, let them try.

Besides, it doesn’t work. I downloaded the app – mind you, I didn’t actually use it. However, if it worked, how would they trick the sinners into using it?! It must have unactivated capabilities, right? What I did do was stick my iPhone in my crotch and had my friend call me repeatedly with the phone on vibrate while I stared at Chris Evans’ pecs in the Captain America trailer. Still felt the love. Don’t tell my girlfriend.

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#2: New Movie ‘The FP’ Where Dance-Dance Meets Post-Apocalypse  Gang Wars.
In the future, we will all be divided amongst post-apocalypse gangs. When diversions are king, our lives will be dedicated to maintaining our reps and our various crews. The flick ‘The FP’ which screened at SXSW last week perfectly captures our forthcoming sociocultural  metamorphosis. Also, the movie is fucking madness.

Gangs fight it out in fatal games of DDR, titties, and absurd montages. The trailer is what happens when you cross 1980’s bro movies with video game slop-culture. In a completely conscious, and planning manner.

God bless.

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#3: Triforce Johnson Waits In Line For Nintendo 3DS. Gets Thrown Out. Returns.
Isaiah-Triforce Johnson is either the man, or a fucking mental patient. For some reason, I feel like the two categories bleed together so simply swimmingly when it comes to geek culture. Triforce, who had the phrase legally added to his first fucking name, is a man with a plan. The plan in question is to be the first motherfucker in Manhattan to get a Nintendo 3DS. He’s taken to this plan by waiting in line inside the foyer of the Union Square Best Buy in the Big Apple.

Earlier this week, Best Buy had security throw the dude out.

But that doesn’t stop a motherfucker, does it? He returned, and has apparently smoothed the entire thing over. “There was a Chris Brown launch party the night I came out” he said, so “Best Buy needed that space for the line. It kinda looked bad, but it was just a misunderstanding.”

Godspeed Triforce, you’re almost fucking there.

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Ken Levine. I wank off to your philosophical wanderings and universal construction in BioShock. You are a good man. Full of win. Now you’re further full of win, and uh, a gooder man with your latest musings on PS Move.

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