So uh and yeah I just got finished blathering about the purported Superman/Batman flick that is (probably) coming out in 2015 when I stumbled across this news. Oh San Diego Comics Convention Time, you are hectic.

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Can you believe this shit? I mean — I’m shocked. Christian Bale says he isn’t playing Batman in the Justice League flick. But, I mean…the press surrounding TDKR where Nolan and Bale both repeatedly confirmed they were done with Batman…sort of left me thinking they may (totally not be) back.

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New comments are totally reiterating what has already been pretty much understood: Zack Snyder is going to direct the Justice League movie if his new Super-Jam doesn’t blow.

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David S. Goyer’s stock appears to be on the upswing. Homeboy contributed to the Dark Knight Trilogy, wrote Man of Steel, and now could be dipping his fingers into the intestines of the Justice League script.

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Christopher Nolan is maybe-apparently in talks to take over stewardship of the Justice League movie. I can sort of swallow that. Taste it on my tongue. What I have a hard time believing, and definitely what I have a hard time figuring out my feelings regarding, is the potential for Bale to once again don the cloak in said film. How does all of this make your nethers feel? Tell me.

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I want some dance scenes in my Justice League movie. You know, just Barry Allen and Hal Jordan looking deep into one another’s eyes. Meanwhile, Bruce Wayne skulks in the corner, trying to simultaneously figure out how Jordan gets abs so taut, and also how to break all their bones with his martini glass. So I say “fuck you, and good riddance” to any script Warner Bros. cancels that doesn’t contain such dreams of mine.

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There is something excellent about imagining our modern myths (comic books, groan at that cliche, whatever) in different settings. Tony Stark as a male stripper, taken in by a confused Steve Rogers. Green Lantern as a Ryan Reynolds (ludicrous, I know), or how about the Justice League in Edo Japan?

Smash das jump for the full glory.

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I don’t know what I’m typing today. Mom and Dad didn’t lock the cage, and so now I’m running around eating Oreos cookies and dumping Mountain Dew in my ass. Wait, what am I talking about? Oh! Aslan Malik. Took American dollar bills and added some fantastic artwork to them. I don’t think it’s legal though. Won’t the Empire Gestapo whisk infidels away for defiling imperial credits? I haven’t practiced law in a while.

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Pencil this in as “fucking obvious”, friends. It is rumored that Darkseid is going to be the villain in the upcoming Justice League movie. It’s going to be great when people get Darkseid and Thanos confused, and/or begin to bicker over who is the less lame purple piece of shit big bad.

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Lost in the noise regarding JGL donning Batman’s mantle – possibly – is this white noise eminating out of Zack Snyder’s throat. Homeboy is throwing down about Man of Steel, and how it will tie into DC’s Not Avengers. Normally I’d be breathing hot fart hate, but I quite enjoyed the teaser trailer for the film. Keeping that in mind, while ruminating on the hot groin love of 300, I will try and mitigate my snark.

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