After last week’s episode, anything was going to be The Great Comedown. That’s scientific fact. Half the people I’ve come across have considered the Dicky Alpert as Spanish Jesus episode one of the best episodes ever, and I’m in agreement. So yeah, I was expecting this week’s to be a bit of a drag.

Man, was I right.

Let me pose a question to you: What is the only thing more boring than Jin and Sun? Jin and Sun in LAX. Jin and Sun eating up an episode of LOST during its final season. This episode aggravated me to the point where I said “Fuck this” in the middle of some weepy, strained LAX moment and went upstairs to grab a Diet Dew and a string cheese. I was beginning to go insane with anger. I went upstairs from my nerd cave, grabbed the caffeinated bliss, and returned downstairs. Do you know what I missed? Absolutely nothing.

I can’t be the only one who is utterly apathetic towards Jin and Sun’s storyline, can I? I’ve never gave a fuck about them. I wrote about LOST for an entire month, and I never touched on them. And while my disregard for them may be more than most peoples’, I can’t imagine why I should care about them. As my friend Tommy Rock pointed out at the beginning of the season, Sun’s main purpose is to ask questions. Pay attention next time she’s on screen. The writers have used her as a mechanism for shitty exposition since I he dropped this knowledge on me.

How? Why? Blah blah blah.

And Jin? Jin’s a hot Asian dude in a tight white t-shirt.

So no, I don’t care about them on the Island, or in LAX. Sorry! They’re both candidates, but they’ve barely spent time on screen together. I mean, I’m a sucker for a good romance, but even I can’t rouse any emotions over whether or not they’ll wind up together.

But let’s get down into it.

On LAX, Jin and Sun ain’t married. But the dudebro is still working for her father. Sun’s gone from an annoying plot device on the Island to an annoying prissy chick in LAX. The two of them land in LAX under the notion that Jin has to deliver some money to Keamy (who is still awesome) in some sort of deal. Right. This is totally cool. Snore.

Across shitty LAX, Jin and Sun pine for one another. They roll around in bed and say sweet nothings and I resist the desire to barf and scream. Maybe scream while I’m projectile barfing.

At one point hunky Jin rolls out of bed after it is implied that he just got done making the sex. Let me ask you a question? Who puts their boxers on after sex? Usually I’m half-dead, laying there puffing, grasping at life. I’m a pathetic man. But even if I had the ability to move, I wouldn’t put on my dumb boxers. That’s the best way to get the human equivalent of Elmer’s Glue all over   the inside of the boxers. Not buyin’ it, yo! But it’s ABC, so yeah, I understand why. I’m just complaining.

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