Some folks have said the scale model of Blue Origin’s rocket now on sale isn’t a dildo. My emphatic, ideology-driven retort? Anything can be a dildo so long as you have faith in yourself and an open mind to the curiosities of the world.

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If we didn’t perform this action already, it’s time we knelt down at the idea that we’re in a William Gibson novel and worshipped the concept. Amazon is aiming to bring thirty-minute deliveries to our impatient, consumerist asses. How are they going to pull off such a feat, you ask? Drones. Fucking drones.

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