RIP King Robert – you were a whoring drunk whose death seemed rather pathetic. But we’re not stupid. You weren’t just gutted by a boar. We know foul play when we see it. You were fed drugged wine by your squire, Lancel Lannister. You’re dead now, though. Something a lot of people have been eagerly waiting for: your wife Cersei, you “son” Joffrey, and your brothers Renly and Stannis. The problem is that all of these people feel entitled to the throne (while the real heir works as a blacksmith’s apprentice) and civil war is about to break out any moment. Martin didn’t choose the title of his book because it sounded pretty.

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