Hey! Are you like me? Completely fatigued with Abrams and his insipid Mystery Box? Well, tough rocks! Today Abrams dropped a surprise teaser trailer for something. What is it? Who knows! It’s a mystery! Which means that its awesome! Because plot, narrative structure, and character depth don’t matter in Abrams’ world! Just the mystery! Forever! Into infinity! Ponder, wonder, guess! Each curious conjuncture actually powers Abrams’ biomechanical cock, a device that is solely charged by collecting the cumulative curiosity of the geek intellecto-sphere.

Here is the dumb teaser.

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Forget the next dumb ass J.J. Abrams’ television show that is going to collapse in on its own overwrought mystery. The Last of Us is the green apocalypse that I am will be participating in. There’s a new trailer bringing the heat courtesy of gamescom, as well as a plethora of screenshots. Goddamn, I need this title.

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