Eat gator! Jerk off in the woods!  Sweat too much, smell too awfully. Enjoy nature! Curse how it makes your balls smell. Am I talking about my trip to Denver last month? Or am I talking about Red Dead Redemption 2? Why not both, you son of a bitch! Yadda yadda, blah blah. How the fuck are you folks doing? Me? I’m doing a-okay. Sleep late, masturbate. Two of the pillars of my current summer vacation. Life ain’t bad.

I mean, if you can ignore the Arctic melting, and the rise of fascism. But, I have faith you can. Us rot-mouth flesh-bellies have tremendous power to deny forthcoming doom. I imagine that prowess stems from our incessant need to deny our own mortality, and works its way into shuttering our eyes at the very-not-good situation on this planet.

Anyways! Holy fuck, what’s up? Glaze your tits, gaze your eyes, and join me here at Monday Morning Commute.

The impending mortality? The horrors of modern culture?

Why, gloss them over with some distractions. And, share your particular distractions this week!

I’ll go first, fellow meat-bags.

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What’s up, fuckers? It’s the Captain of the Space-Ship Omega. And word, I’m actually daring to interact with ya’ll folks. (I had a student tell me to yell “ya’ll folks” when the class acts up, I’m trying it out.)

First things first — no stream again this weekend. I know. I know! But, Bateman is currently in Madrid. Living that glorious life. So, yeah. Fuck us, right?

Second things second — I figured we could hang out here, instead? At Weekend Open Bar!

Man, I’ve been so fucking busy lately. I absolutely adore teaching two summer classes for the first time ever. That said? Monday through Thursday, I ain’t got any extra juice. Apologies! Apologies. The whole waking up early thing ain’t so bad, but I’m fucking tapped by the time I get to a computer in the evening.

You can fucking chart the exact moment when my week ends, as the Engines of Textual Diarrhea snap to life and I begin posting again.

Anyways, how the fuck are you folks this weekend? Anyways, what the fuck are you folks up to this weekend? Anyone seeing Crawl? I wanna. Anyone playing a particular game? I think I’m gonna finally begin my final assault on Red Dead Redemption 2.

Join me around the hearth. Pants down, smiles up.

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Holy shit, I’m alive! I’m a-l-i-v-e! I promise, I’m alive. This definitely isn’t a re-constituted Digi-ian communicating to you from beyond the Physical Realm. I promise. Anyways, how the fuck are you? Me? I’m doing okay. I’m not, praise the Elder Gods, tutoring this summer.

What does that mean? It means that I have some time to convalesce, ingest media, and eat too much before my summer class(es).

So, in the spirit of Corpulent Media Consumption, here’s what I’m absorbing into my totally-not-a-digital-construct of a brain this week. I hope you’ll join me in the comments section!

This is Monday Morning Commute!

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Hey, fellow crew mates of the Space-Ship Omega! How the fuck are you? I know it’s been a minute since I punched out a Monday Morning Commute, but what do you want? I’ve been busy! I got mental health issues! It’s cold, and snowy, and miserable, and I just want to lay under my anxiety blanket until the worm turns on this shit-ass season.

But, this week I’ve pushed through!

Ripping opening the door to the Space-Ship’s common room and hollerin’ for ya’ll to join me in it! Come hang out, and let me know what you’re looking forward to this week! As well, inform me of the various tunes, toons, tits, and other sundries you’re currently enjoying!

Not sure how this works? Eh, I don’t believe you! However, like any good spinner of pedagogy, I’ll model the exercise first! Then, you join me in the comments.

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