I’ve been suffering, indulging, and enjoying this past week. I’ve had it off from work, the first legitimate vacation from work since, well, I don’t know. Logically, I shouldn’t lament this fact. For, I know motherfuckers in this empathy-barren world work way more than me, and get no breaks. Emotionally, I’m so fucking stoked. However, I’m facing the typical fork in the road as vacation winds down. Do I just embrace the indulgence, the corpulence, the chemical-insanity for a few more days (I will). Or, do I begin to wind down the Caligulian existence, and prepare for reentry on Tuesday (I won’t)?

Whatever the case, let’s spend the waning days of DisasterYear2017 together, friends! Here in the Weekend Open Bar!

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Man, I’m eating my feelings lately. Straight-up gorging. My bikini body is suffering, yo. I think it’s safe to say that I slather on another pound or three every time I’m tasked with writing a paper. Got this weird as fuck schedule riffing right now too, where I’m on campus until 9 pm. No gym. Mucho food. Gotta cut back. Not this week though! Why? It’s America Fuck Yeah! week. An abridged existence for those of us slaving it out in the United. I am eagerly anticipating stuffing gullet with many a chlorine-soaked beef patty and unethically snuffed chicken. There will be a momentary pause as I mourn the animals, before respecting their sacrifice by ingesting them with a fervor.

This is Monday Morning Commute, the column where we all share the various arts and artifices we’re employing to get us through the week. Won’t you be my date on this fairest of occasions?

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