This is fucking choice, my dudes. Not only is Netflix dropping a new martial arts television series, but it’s going to feature the star of The Raid.

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Iko Uwais, total ass-whupping extraordinaire of The Raid is back with his next movie. Headshot. I’m down.

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LISTEN. At least I ain’t like one of them-there Movie Sites making money off of non-news, trying to dress my post up as anything other than me frantically tugging my fanboy force-phallus. Okay? Three actors from The Raid are in The Force Awakens and no one knows what the fuck they’re doing in the movie. Some speculate they are choreographing an action sequence. CAN YOU FUCKING IMAGINE?

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I was never into hardcore but my ex-girlfriend in college was. She was into all those bands with “blood” in their names and local Boston groups like Suicide File. I tolerated it – anything was better than Morrisey, her other love – and I even liked a few. My favorite parts were, of cours, the breakdowns. All of them. Any of them. Breakdowns make me want to do push-ups and bang a chick – at the same time! The Raid: Redemption is like a bunch of hardcore breakdowns strung together with some flimsy exposition thrown in between. I couldn’t care less what was going on in between the breakdowns – just fast forward the verses and get to the throwdowns.

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