Oh come all ye faithful. How are your colons? How are your livers? Are your guts sated? Is your wallet mutilated? Did your loved one feel that you established your love for them adequately? I hope all of you are doing wonderful. I had a splendid weekend. I got a crap load of gifts, spent the entirety of Christmas evening on the toilet with gut-clenching diarrhea and then saw Sherlock Holmes on Saturday evening. Let’s do the math! Material possessions that make me warm + warm goop coming out of my ass + Robert Downey Jr. with his shirt off? Yeah dude, I had a fucking great weekend.

Monday Morning Commute. Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me the arts that you’re indulging in, to stave off suicide.

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